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3 Bumps

My SO harrasses my 34yr son when I am not at home. When I first met him he told me that he was jealous of him because my son could talk to me and he can't.

My SO is financially helping me with my mortgage so tossing him out is not an option right now. I am presently working part time and don't get paid enough to survive on. What are your suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by mcarlson94 at 2:50 AM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 5 (83 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Maybe you need to get rid of your s/o it is not okay for him to harass your son and I am sure it makes him feel very uncomfortable


    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 2:52 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Um..HOW old is your son?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:53 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Ii dont care how old my son is, if my SO was harassing him unprovoked I would have to toss the prick out, my child comes first, wether he is 5 or 50!

    Answer by shivasgirl at 2:54 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Your children come first regardless of age! When he told you he was jealous of your son, you should've known he was crazy and left him alone!

    Answer by Proverbs_31 at 2:59 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • 1st - There's a problem with him being jealous of your son. A person should always have a relationship with their child, and their partner should understand that and be ok with it. But I have to admit I'm a little confused as to why, at 34, your ds and he are having so much time alone together that this is able to happen. Doesn't your ds have his own place to live? If not, I do NOT mean this mean, but maybe that is part of the problem, know what I mean? Your ds will ALWAYS be YOUR child, but that doesn't mean he IS a child, and he really shouldn't be having that much involvement in your relationship with your so (assuming he's not the dad or step who raised him). Now, if your ds is out on his own, he isn't relying on your so for at least part of his support, etc, then your so needs to get a grip.

    Either way, it sounds like you've got some hard choices with setting some appropriate boundaries with your men :-(


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 4:07 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • You need to have a serious talk with him and tell him to stop the harrassment. Now, if your son is 34 he should be able to stand up for himself as well. If it doesn't stop you need to make some hard decisions and maybe get a more reasonable place to live with out the problems. Do not stay with him only because he helps with the mortgage.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:23 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Why is your 34 yr old son still living at home??

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:41 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • It does not matter how old your son is, what matters is that you need to set this man straight about what is crossing the line! If he is jealous of your son, he is probably a possessive man that needs a good talking to, before it gets worst!

    Answer by older at 1:44 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Try talking to your SO, and asking him to help. Give him a chance to hear out your concerns and change his behavior. If he is unwilling, then, it might be time to toe the line and set some boundaries. That kind of stuff is not okay.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 5:23 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Your son is old enough to fight his own battles.

    Answer by tasches at 5:50 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

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