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4 Bumps

Is it time to be brutally honest with myself en quit? ? ?

I'm maried 18 years. He was married before and have a wonderful son. We came to the US and he never send alimony back to our home country... We have 2 kids, 16 & 12. I'm a Realtor and paid for his 5 year studies to be a Nurse. He graduated, but he slipped up with his Visa and now cannot get work authorization. Now he is a handyman, not making enough to support us. He's FAT, drinks, snores and fart in his sleep and is just a total slob. You cannot walk in the garage, so much junk! I love to keep a clean, organized home and want to know where everything is... he just dumb everything. We are over $60K behind on taxes, because he did not want to use a professional to do our taxes. When I say we need to take care and talk to someone, he gets angry.

 Do I love him? Not enough. We became friends after his divorce. He tried to commit suicide after his ex wife left and I think I felt sorry for him. We got married within 6months.  Sometimes we're good friends, but the bad times are far more.  Our whole house atmosphere is horrible.  My 12 year old is constantly crying, asking us to stop the fighting.  I am more and more becoming a bitter person that I do not like.

I am scared at what he might do if I suggest leaving.  I will go back to South Africa, but I think he will kill us all before that happens... 

Answer Question
 
Einapyn

Asked by Einapyn at 4:06 AM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • If ur situation is bad as u say it is I would definitly leave. Is there any shelters 4 battered women where u can go until u can plan ur trip back to Africa? That way he cant harm u or ur children. Yes. this situation sounds very unhealthy & scary. U really need to leave if u feel ur life is in danger. It will take planning on ur end.. but I would take my kids & leave when he is at work & be gone w/out a trace..
    tiamesmer

    Answer by tiamesmer at 4:39 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • if he will kill you before you leave, then why would you tell him??? i don't get it. youre miserable, your dd is miserable, your husband is abusive and lazy......why are you still there?
    pack you and your dd up and leave when he is gone.
    of you go back to africa, i highly doubt he is gonna follow you.
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 5:41 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • When the child is crying and begging its time to go do not tell him pack only what you need and leave . Do whatever you have to to make you and your kid safe and happy again. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:12 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Come up with a plan for yourself. Gather all important papers you need, put aside some money, go to the police or a womens' shelter if you feel you are not safe, and plan your exit. hug
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:03 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • .................................................................................................................................
    CandyHorse

    Answer by CandyHorse at 12:34 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I wouldn't tell him. I'd just go if your passports are in order.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:38 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • leave girl run...
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 2:05 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • be always honest with your self and choose the right solution.
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 4:14 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

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