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2 Bumps

how can i be an authoritarian parent and not be a hitler mom adult content

friend mom does not work
screaming mom does not work
stubborn sassy child
i want to say no but i find myself getting bulldozed over

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:55 AM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (6)
  • Friend mom is great, however you still have to be firm on your rules. I find it helps writing and posting house rules around the house. Make sure your child reads them, and post consequences as well. I started with an allowance sheet. This is what you earn for doing each of these things that you need to do etc. If you swear, you give me $1.00 back, if you break curfew, no allowance etc. When they see that each action has a consequence, they are more apt to try to respond, especially when its about $$ for the movies/mall!
    jade_Aidan

    Answer by jade_Aidan at 8:07 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Sounds like you need to read BOUNDARIES FOR PARENTS by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Just know that if you are just now getting started in this area, you can expect tons of oppositions.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:11 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • The trick is to set rules and do so matter of factly and unemotionally. Set consequences for not following the rules. Go about your day and not argue about it. If they mess up give consequence without emotion. Don't let them get to you.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:20 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • ~*Giggles*~... in the heat of the moment, kids think you are the devil and it is the end of the world... but plain old fashioned stability and solid foundations! Meaning that you stick to you guns, they have set rules, and later they will be thankful...
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 12:11 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I liked the book "7 Things Your Teen Won't Tell You; and How To Talk About Them". It provides some really good examples of how to talk about things and enforce boundaries. I use this with my boys. The big thing is don't engage in argument, its unnecessary. I walk away when this happens and tell them I'm done and when they are ready to talk like an adult we'll talk. My boys like their freedom so I take it away when things are done. For us what works well is greating more of a team atmosphere, rather than demanding or trying to control, we talk about things like chores who is doing what, the expectation of completion and then the boys provide their promised time to meet that goal. If they don't, then not only do they do the chore or whatever, they also don't get to spend time with friends. Same with staying out late, not answering their phone, talking back. I talked to the boys about expectations and why I have them
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:39 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • REally? You compare parenting to the murder of 13,000,000 humans?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:54 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

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