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Have you ever had one of your couple friends divorce and attempt to put you in the middle? How did you handle the situation?

 
zebbiebug

Asked by zebbiebug at 9:10 AM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,441 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • I have a friend going thru this now. His wife is telling her friends which BTW were his friends first, things to turn on him. He is noticing it more & more. They are going thru the process and still get together with friends and it's to a point they don't invite him over and are upset with him. They aren't getting the full details of why he wants out, just her side that he is abandoning her which is how she is putting it out. So naturally they are starting to take side because his wife is putting the friends in the middle He has his strong reason for the split and she isn't understanding, so in return she is bad mouthing him to their friends. I told him let her keep running her mouth, in time your true friends will come to your side after some time has past and they will realize she is in the wrong. In the meantime bite your tongue and be the better person. Soon they will see why you chose to divorce her.

    SnapIt

    Answer by SnapIt at 10:34 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • wish i could help, but i havent yet. i have a bad feeling i'm going to go through it soon though, even though they're not married it's still going to be bad (my husband'scousin, who's daughter is his goddaughter)
    Mrs.L.Mita

    Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 9:11 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • No, I haven't. I am sorry if it is happening to you. Just make it clear that it is not a place you want or will be.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:12 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Yep. We told them each individually that we could remain friends only if they kept us out of the relationship. It worked with one couple, and we remain friends with both of them. With the other couple, the guy just couldn't let it go, and kept bad mouthing his ex. We are friends with the guy, and haven't seem his ex in quite awhile.

    Best of luck, hopefully they understand you don't want to be in the middle and leave you out of it. If they aren't considerate of your feelings it's probably better that you keep your distance. They aren't really good friends.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:14 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Tough time for all....how to support but not take sides.
    Librarylady60

    Answer by Librarylady60 at 9:14 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I stay neutral and mind my own business.........

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 9:21 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Yes, but with crazy circumstances. I'm a birthmom, and the couple who adopted my DD split up a couple of years ago, and the divorce was just finalized a couple months ago. I can't say they tried to "stick us in the middle", but I very much felt in the middle, because mom moved out and dad stayed at home with the kids. She said I took sides - all I did was keep in contact with the parent who was raising the kids & talking to us (she basically shut everyone out then accused them of taking his side - pretty twisted). But yeah, I felt kind of in the middle, but in the end I just let DH (not DD's bio-dad) talk with him all the time and I tried to stay as neutral as possible, but still keep in contact with him since he's pretty much raising the kids on his own now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:51 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • no, but I have had my parents do that when I was a teenager, specifically my dad and even then I told him that he should not bring me into it and it was between him and mom. Guess that is why I am not his favorite, but I know I was more adult than him about it, and friends should be the same way. Although there are times when you are better friends with one initially so you know more of their side and you just support them.
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 10:05 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

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