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Are you offended when someone offers you handme downs?

I'm not at all! But my DH is very offended and now we are having a fight over it. My cousin offered me a bunch of hand me downs for my boys and I said okay. Well, my dh was livid that I would accept hand me downs! My boys do not need hand me downs, they have everything they need. I was just caught off guard on the phone with my cousin and said okay. Then I had to call her back and tell her No, I didn't want them. To make my dh happy. He's still offended and won't speak to me!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • A friend of mine is always trying to offer me hand me downs.  It doesn't pee me off but I do tell her no.  I'd much rather she give them to someone who could actually use them.  And to be honest, we don't have the same sense of style when it comes to dressing our kids.  No, I'm not offended by it.  I think your hub is being a little childish but I would try to see his point also.  Does he work? My hub takes great pride in giving his children nice clothing.  He doesn't get upset at hand me downs but I think if he wasn't working or couldn't afford nice clothes, he would probaly be offended. 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 10:14 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I am not offended. Why should we buy all brand-new things when someone is willing to pass on their perfectly lovely and often barely-used things?
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 10:13 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I think he needs to grow up a little...or a lot. Your cousin meant nothing but kindness by offering them to you. If he's holding a grudge over that, he has some serious issues. Tell him to quit acting like a little boy.
    thatgirl70

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 10:13 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Your DH is acting immature.
    But it may come from the fact that in his mind "hand me downs" are only for the poor.
    Ergo, a male pride thing.
    Or maybe he grew-up poor and hand me downs was all that his family could have??
    Either way it's male pride.
    I'd tell him that these are nice clothes and it would be great for the boys to have some "play clothes" that way
    their "Good" clothes won't get wrecked so soon. :)
    Missikat75

    Answer by Missikat75 at 10:14 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • no not at all when your low on money anything helps
    blinkys11

    Answer by blinkys11 at 10:14 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Well i wouldn't mind at all. Some kids go through clothes so fast they don't have time to look worn down. I see it as a friendly gesture. Not everyone can afford to buy other people's kids new clothes, but are still willing to give them something. I don't fully understand why someone would be 'livid'. And even if you did accept those clothes, if you didn't like them you don't have to make your kids wear them.
    r.e.l.s.m.o.m.

    Answer by r.e.l.s.m.o.m. at 10:15 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • My children wore lots of hand-me-downs. I was always thrilled to get them. I think your husband has problems with very low self-esteem, and the used clothing makes him feel like he is unable to provide for his family. I would accept the clothing while assuring him it had nothing at all to do with him. Children outgrow clothing very quickly and it's a waste not to reuse it.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:17 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Sounds like your hubby was feeling that his "manhood" was being threatened/questioned. To him, accepting hand-me-downs means that he can't provide for his family. Personally I don't care one way or the other, but my hubby, on the other hand, would probably not accept them either.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 10:23 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Heck no! The more the better! Lol. The less I have to buy :)
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 10:29 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I LOVE to get hand-me-downs! Except for special occasions, I've barely ever bought my kids clothes. The couple times I bought everyday clothes, I went to the thrift store anyway, and that was right after a growth spurt.
    I personally think your husband is acting a little ridiculous, but maybe there's a deeper issue behind it. Does he feel emasculated by people offering him free things?
    MariAnKenobi

    Answer by MariAnKenobi at 10:36 AM on Feb. 7, 2011

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