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how can we stop our usually lovely 4 year old son bullying his 2 year old nephew?

we have a lovely 4 year old son, however since our grandson was born 2 years ago, he has never liked him.. i must add that i look after my grandson 5 days a wek and also lived with us for 1 and half years. our son refuses to play with josh and pushes him away and goes to hit him! he screams at him that he donnt love him and tells him to go away all the time. we are at our wits end, we disipline our son as will not tolerate any kind of bullying!! HELP!!

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Asked by lisatilt at 1:02 PM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Awww hun, I don't know if I can offer you anything much aside from just plain old support.

    See.. my daughter does not get along with my 8 year old nephew... they are total oil and water but yet... they are exactly alike in personality (both of them have Aspergers).

    I would suggest ... well no... cause he's only 4 years old... so I'm thinking it's probably a bit of jealousy, because you know.. the 2 year old gets attention (more so cause you have to keep a constant eye out for them..)

    Just see if you can have a conversation with him and try to figure out what he's feeling (ask open ended questions though) and why he's doing it. IF you can... because if you can figure out what the reason is for his acting out... you might be able to get a hold on keeping that behavior in check.

    Answer by Randomosity2 at 1:11 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Do special things with him because he is a "big boy". They can be simple little things to give him a little more attention. When our kids were little I would sit on the floor and monitor what was going on between them to try to eliminate problems. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 1:25 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • It sounds like a case of sibling rivalry as your son was the 'baby' until Josh was born. I think he might be feeling a bit of resentment , jealousy and feel that Josh has 'taken his place' by being the 'new baby' of the family taking attention from you that used to be all his. I think it is time to sit your son down and talk to him about his behavior toward Josh, and ask why he does not like Josh. I would also reassure your son that you love him very much. It might also be a good idea to spend some extra time with your son just the 2 of you and do some fun things- maybe do crafts, go to the park.....

    Answer by MizLee at 1:36 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • If it makes you feel any better you are not son is two and he has a almost 4 year old cousin...his 4 year old cousin hates my son and treats him terribly we have done everything from doting on 4 yr old nephew telling him we still love him very much, to telling him to "teach" his cousin in a nice way, and the punishing as well. I know how you feel, in fact they cannot be left alone together, whenever we go over i have to be on my son like glue to make sure he isnt bullied. but i have to go to the bathroom sometimes! Keep trying whatever you can, for us its getting to the point where i can no longer allow us to visit, im sorry i know you dont have that option. Good luck, and if anything works ill be looking out for the this post because we are at our wits end too. Im terrified my son is going to learn that this is acceptable behavior, i punish him for things he shouldnt do, but you know how kids are sponges! GL!

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 2:06 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

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