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My 11 yrs old is using very bad laugage how do i get him to stop?

He does this like its natural doesnt care who around.. I feel like im losing ground with him..

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Asked by BeachMom68 at 1:43 PM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Does he get an allowance?? If he does, start a swear jar, and ANYONE that swears (define the words that are considered offensive) has to pay in a $1 per word.

    Big thing, don't react, he's looking for your reaction.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:45 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I work a lot at a vocational high school- and I was able to break my construction guys of that habit w/ a writing penalty. It started, "I can express myself more creatively by saying______" (&they had to fill the page!) I dont believe in the swear jar- I can picture some smarty pants dropping in $ 5.00 & "using up" his swear allowance. -lol- You can also take away privledges for 15 mins or more for each swear word (ie video games or earlier bed time) Remind him that he sounds like an uneducated punk when he speaks this way, and its disrespectful to himself & those around him. Give alternative words (crap, freaking, etc) that he's allowed to use instead. As long as you are consistent, you will get him out of this awful habit. GL

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 1:49 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Every kid is different evaluate what works with your normal punishment and implement that.

    Answer by kve at 1:49 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I would simply tell him that appropriate language is EXPECTED, and no "rewards" will be allowed for his behavior, until he can begin to act as expected. Then, without no arguing and no more discussion of it whatsoever (he's 11, he'll argue, but he'll also get it), take away, computer, video games, no allowance, etc. My friend did this to her two boys 11 and 13. She took EVERYTHING out of their bedrooms except their bedding and their clothes. After every week that went by and they behaived, she gave one thing back. If they messed up, away it all went. They we very good after that. She's had to do it once more since then (years later), and they straightened right back up.


    Answer by boobarandbell at 1:57 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Everytime a bad word comes out of his mouth, take something away,, and I mean away,, 1 incident =no games for a week, 2nd time in the trash, and so on and so on,,,I would also explain how dumb this makes him look! Good luck momma!

    Answer by kimigogo at 2:01 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • ok...alot of people gonna thumbs down this but a bar of dove soap wont hurt if you put it in his mouth for a couple seconds or i liked eating soap as a child (i know im weird) but it worked for my sister...and btw...she is completely normal and long as it is NOT liquid soap and just the bar...but then again you actually have to get your kid to take the punishment...back when i was kid you did your punishment without talking back or fighting back...if not that then what others said would work!

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 2:18 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I'm in agreement with Mrsmom110. I think its kind of a phase that kids go through to attempt to test the waters and express independance. It's also not acceptable. With my boys I've had the conversation of about how they look unintelligent and what that will mean for their getting a job or starting a career, people's perception etc. While I don't want my kids to base their internally acceptance on others outward acceptance its still important to be respectful. I know that boys do cuss when with their friends, but its not acceptable in my house, and my boys will even make their friends apologize to me for slip ups...they are also respectful in that they do not engage when other adults or children around, sometimes they will occassionally say something in my presence as well and I talk about different words they can use instead. It takes some time but it worked for us, catching it from the start.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:27 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I am POSITIVE my 10 yr old (almost 11..this March) says curse words around his friends.Unless I hear it..I can't do anything about it. Now..He's only slipped up one time in front of me.I made him stand in the corner. It was all I could think of to a knee jerk reaction..."WHAAATTTTTTTT DID YOU SAY? OMG...GET YOURSELF IN THE CORNER MISTER! " LOL..yeah..thats about how it went.
    I just talk to him about respecting people...especially around adults and those of authority.
    Like I said tho..I don't and can't control what he says privately in front of his friends..he thinks he's,lol.
    Oh mouth was awful when I was 10...but thats another story! hehe :)

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:42 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • No cursing period in front of me. My children know this and no matter how old they get, cursing and being disrespectful will not be tolerated at do you handle it? You handle it like you would any other time he acts up or is being disrespectful...

    Answer by treasured_hope at 1:10 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • are you using bad language too ? because if you are your not going to get anywhere ! I told my kids that bad language was ONLY permitted after age 18 if i heard it , or anyone else heard it they would be severly punished ! but I also said " special permission granted for things like stubbing your toe ! but they had to ask for permission , it made it fun LOL SERIOUSLY let them know that cussing does not make you look cool , it makes you look dumb ,because then your not showing the world your intelligence by using it . and a little drop of soap on the tongue cleaned that mouth up good .

    Answer by nanafor5 at 10:05 AM on Feb. 13, 2011

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