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9 Bumps

Why do others care?

I'm new here, but in the few short times I have been on here, I've noticed something. Most of the mothers on here seem to care a lot about everyone else's business. Circumcision, cry it out, bf, ff, car seats, vaccinating, birth control methods, number of kids, etc. My question is, why do you care how another woman raises her child? Obviously, if a child is being abused or neglected, someone should step in. But these other things, that don't hurt children, and are a parents choice, why do others care so much? And how do you find the time to care? Between resting because I'm so tired all the time, getting ready for my babies, taking care of my house and husband, keeping up with my online classes, and volunteering, I don't have time for anything else. So why do you care, if you do? And what are your views on these things?

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tchappy

Asked by tchappy at 6:53 PM on Feb. 7, 2011 in About CafeMom

Level 4 (31 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Well, my son will be circumcised, I don't believe in cry it out, I will bf as long as I can, I have the best, safest car seat available, I will vaccinate, I can't handle hormone bc, so we use condoms and Natural family planning, and we don't know how many kids we want :D
    tchappy

    Comment by tchappy (original poster) at 6:56 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • welcome to cafemom Don't worry, you're not the first to come to this realization - and you won't be the last.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:56 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Thanks scout :D
    tchappy

    Comment by tchappy (original poster) at 6:57 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I think it's important to give people information. There will always be new information. I don't want to be a loud mouth jerk-- but I do really want other women to make really good choices based on all the information.

    I care. I care that people are safe and healthy and happy. If I was doing something dangerous, I would want someone to tell me and protect me. But part of caring is BEING NICE. It's the nice part that people miss out on.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 7:00 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I am heavy on the anti circ boat. But if you can walk or be wheeled to the nursery and watch it be done I say more power to you. If you don't have the balls (No pun intended!) to supervise your sons very serious medical procedure than perhaps you should reconsider your views. (I signed the forms to forms to have my son snipped and stopped them after they clamped his junk and were about the cut) I was glad I went, I would've rather stayed in bed emailing baby pictures to family and taking a nap and then 2 hours later had a clean swaddled baby brought back to me.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 7:05 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I think it's just in some people's personalities. I didn't even know that had a problem with most of that stuff till I came on here and ended up having to leave my due date club because all some of those women were doing was irritating my blood pressure. Speaking as a circumcising,formula feeding,vaccinating mom who enjoyed her epidural and "unnessary" c-section and who can't wait to flip the carseat so he can see and will stop screaming whole car trips, congrats more of us need to come to our senses about other people's kids. Though on medical issues I tend to be more outspoken because of my backround in medical assisting.
    lizziebreath

    Answer by lizziebreath at 7:18 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • Everyone has an opinion, even you. Everyone has a belief in something, even you. Everyone thinks they're right about one thing over another, even you. So before you mistunderstand what people are doing on here realize that you've probably done it as well. If a friend comes up to you and says "I spank my child" when you don't believe in spanking you'd probably say something. Everyone has a different way of parenting and a different belief in how everyone else should parent. EVERYONE does. On a public forum, such as this one, you are sharing your views and beliefs with everyone. Meaning you're going to get everyone's opinions on the matter whether you wanted them all or not. You have to understand that there are hundreds of women on this website and we all think differently. It's not that we CARE .. It's the we all have different ideas and views. And a public forum is a place to express those said views.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:51 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I wish I could bump your post more than once because MANY feel exactly like like you do, And I too have had the same rant!!!
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 8:06 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • i tink some things can hurt i dont think its anyones business but things like crying it out hurt emotionally, carseats ERF or not ERF could hurt... but to each their own. i am one that is VERY passionate about what i believe in but still know others have their right to choose what not to do.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 8:07 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • I disagree Jazz. If I don't spank. I have friends that do. I don't say anything at all about it to them. If it's not abusive, it's not my business what discipline method they opt to use. If they were to say, "What's your opinion on spanking?" I'd tell them, but I'd couch it in terms of "I believe. . ." or "to me..." and not "You're wrong if you believe it" or "Everyone that spanks ..." or other generalize loaded statements like that.

    Things shouldn't be different on a public forum. There's a big difference between, for example, a person coming to Q&A and saying "Give me your thoughts on nursing - pros and cons" and a person saying "I don't get these people who don't nurse at all. Don't they know how wrong they are?" I can't speak for the OP, but the problem I see around 'net forums is that people confuse their opinions with "absolute fact." sharing the first is fine. Forcing the point on the later is not.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 8:08 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

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