I have a 11 year old dd who I have custody of. She lives with me and my husband most of the time and goes to her dad's house one weekend a month from Friday after school to Sunday at 6 (unless she is off school monday or friday, then he gets her for the extra time). Well this past weekend, she has friday off so he picked her up on thursday. I packed her 5 oufits plus PJs for the long weekend. Her winter clothes are getting to be a little small on her but they still fit ok (not too tight or short, it's just if she grows anymore they will be) but we live in Fl so we really only have a couple more weeks of winter left anyway and then she will be in a whole new wardrobe (even now, we are wearing short sleve shirts and jeans half the time). Well about an hour after her dad picked her up, he calls me saying "why the HELL are all her clothes too small? This is CRAP, I work too hard for my dd to wear clothes that are too small, if you are going to do this, you need to give me back every dime of child support I have paid in the last 6 months" Now again they do still fit, her jeans don't show her socks and she can button them still and the shirts all meet her wrists and the top of her pants. The funny thing is that his dd he has with his new wife wears clothes that are too small for her all the time, I am talking like 2 sizes too small! I explained to him that while yes, she is starting to outgrow them, she will only be wearing them a couple more weeks, I also reminded him that he only pays $76 a month and while he paid this last month, he missed the 2 before that and September that he has never caught up on. He got mad and hung up. Well my dd came home last night saying that her dad had taken all the clothes that she had with her (except the clothes on her back) and gave them to her half sister because he said they were too small, and she needed to give them to her. I was PISSED because I buy her NICE clothes (Justice, Children's Place you get it) and I always hand her clothes down to my cousins kids because they have 3 girls who are a couple years younger (and all three of their girls end up wearing them). I called my ex and his wife answered and said all snotty kind of ha ha kind of way, "thanks for the clothes, now I don't have to buy my dd anything next winter". I said, I didn't give them to anyone, I sent them for my dd to wear" she said "she has outgrown them so why shouldn't my dd have them?" I explained to her that 1. they still fit my dd 2. I always give them to my cousin for his kids because they don't have much money and have 3 girls that would use them, then I said 'really, your dd only gets 5 oufits"? She told me that she was keeping them and I told her then fine then she needs to tell my ex that he needs to pay those 3 months worth of child support that he missed (in our county, if I report 3 months of missing child support within 12 months, he will have 10 days to come up with all of it or go to jail, and then pay it) and they need to go out and buy my dd some new clothes to wear over there because I am not sending another thing. She said I am heartless if I do that because that would leave them without enough to pay their bills or give their ds a birthday party. I said really, $225 for back child support plus maybe $50 for new clothes is that much? Well then I guess you should learn not to take what doesn't belong to you." To be honest, we don't need the child support in the least, I stay at home and my husband makes good money ( we are not rich or anything but we have everything we need a quite a bit of what we want, and we never depend on the child support), I know they do struggle, the have 3 children together, the 10 year old girl and 2 boys. However, I can't have her thinking that she has some kind of right to anything my dd brings over that her dd wants, they have also kept some dvds before which is why now my dd is only allowed to bring clothes and school books for homework over there. This has me so angry, my ex misses his child support payments prob 3 to 4 times a year (they are monthly payments) but I usually don't say anything but I am starting to feel like their children aren't my problem. They had 2 our of their children after he was ordered child support, this may sound mean but I feel like if they couldn't afford to have more children and pay $75 a month, they prob shouldn't have had more children. Plus the only reason I got child support is because he went to court for visitation, so while we were there, I asked for child support. I am also thinking about saying if we continue to have these kinds problems, I am going to hand him half the bill for my dd's braces ($3000, total) because our court order says he is supposed to pay half of medical and dental (she is on my husband's insurance as my ex doesn't even get insurance through his work).Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 7:26 PM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Parenting Debate
No, I wouldn't send her with any more clothing. And yes, I would make him pay his unpaid child support. That was rude and uncalled for. Even if the clothes were 10 times too small, they didn't buy them and it's not their decision to make to give them away.
Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:32 PM on Feb. 7, 2011
My children all wear nice clothing also and let me tell ya, his 76 bucks a month does NOT cover that period so I think you are already being more then generous.
Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:33 PM on Feb. 7, 2011
Answer by angevil53 at 7:38 PM on Feb. 7, 2011
Answer by mybella81 at 7:42 PM on Feb. 7, 2011
Their daughter needing clothes is not your concern in my opinion.
Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 8:16 PM on Feb. 7, 2011
Answer by jbond83 at 9:56 PM on Feb. 7, 2011
Answer by mybella81 at 11:14 PM on Feb. 7, 2011
Answer by Zoeyis at 6:27 AM on Feb. 8, 2011
Next question overall
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Who really cares what someone did for a Klondike bar?