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Why does my 12 yr what to be called by another name (exhusband/brother's name)?

I know he feels his oldest brother gets more attention from all others, but his oldest brother suffered menigitis and stayed in ICU for 4 months and literally died twice (miracle he is living),but I really focus on him and have dates with him (just the 2 of us), but not motivation to bathe, school work,or even exercise. Just today he was suppose to take a shower, but was just standing in bathroom with all his clothes on for 15 minutes. Later I asked in a very polite way, what would you rather I spend my money on, 1> a video game, or 2. running water while you're in the bathroom singing and just standing? He answered the running water!!! I know he really didn't mean it, so I said, "Ok baby, no problem and duly noted. I love you for answering honestly." I know it wasn't true, he's rebelling . There are so much more issues.

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dovef

Asked by dovef at 10:32 PM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • Sounds like he is being a teenager. Regardless if he will admit he probably does resent the attention paid to his older brother. On top of that he is a teenager and is going to rebel against everything and anything you say. I know i did it to my family. I was the odd one out in my family and it just made me more rebelious. I would go days with out showering or brusing teeth or hair or even doing homework. Of course that was also a time when my depression kicked in. At 12 I was diagnosed with manic depression and anxiety disorder. Maybe call his school counsler and see if they can talk to him. GL
    andria82

    Answer by andria82 at 11:10 PM on Feb. 7, 2011

  • But he's seeing the difference between him and his brother and it is hard for a child to understand why one kid is getting more attention that the other kid. I know how it feels to lose a child and therefore I make it a point tnot to show special favortism towards any child. I know in your mind, you think by giving the other child more attention will let him know how much you love him and glad that he's alive but what type of attention are you showing your other child? What do you do to show him that you are there for him too? He's feeling neglected and rightfully so. I know there are other issues and I know those are the ones you're not sharing our the hard ones for you to deal with...
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 1:06 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

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