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4 Bumps

Trying to adopt, agency giving us problems

I posted this once before but didn't get a whole lot of feedback so i am trying again. my husband and i are really stuck, please help!

Background: My husband and I are trying to adopt but they agency is giving us a really hard time. We are trying to figure out what is going on.As far as what they've told us, we've been the most prepared people theyve seen come thru. We have done our classes and EACH and EVERY aspect of our background check, financial, etc came back perfect. We are at a decent age to adopt, I am adopted myself so I understand. We both have decent stable jobs. We own our house. We have a room completely ready for a child. But they keep going back and forth between yes we're approved and no we're not. Every time we've asked them whats going on,we get different answers, backtrack or the policies "have just changed".(mind you we've kept emails and recorded phone calls) We are in a place where there are not a lot of white people(which we are) in the us and we are not prejudice at all in any way shape or form, we just weren't brought up that way.. but over the last few weeks several of our local friends, amongst others, have said maybe its because we're white. I have argued several times that, that can't possibly be it, but after jumping hoop after hoop and getting no where, we are starting to wonder. Out of all our friends, family, attourney, and adoption hotline, no one can understand why we're not licensed yet.....

The Question is: Is this a real possibility and if so, how are we going to prove it? Please absolutely no bashing. Please remember we are not prejudice. We have our hearts fully into this and would like info/ideas if anyone has it..........if anyone has had experience with the same thing, please let us know?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Feb. 7, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (5)
  • I don't know about it being a prejudice against you being white.. have you thought about fostering? alot of times it is easier to adopt a foster child then it is to adopt from an agency. or if you are looking for a baby... maybe running an ad in the paper? I'm not sure what else to say. Just keep trying! and I hope you can! Its an amazing thing when people adopt.

    Answer by mysticlady1221 at 1:52 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I would call the district manager... this is the supervisor over your local agency... as a foster parent for the state you can have children placed in your care from other counties in your state so I don't think your location should be an issue... if your home study is complete then I would ask about the time frame ... homes are so needed that your agency should move on your license ... the other option is to check into have a home study done for yourselves and be licensed for private placement too... not just foster placement.... keep digging and good luck :-)

    Answer by BlessingsBegin at 9:45 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Proving something like this is next to impossible. Even if it is proven that you are being treated unfairly, the agency can always come up with excuses...your paperwork got lost, your rep went on vacation, etc.

    Why not just have all your paperwork moved to another agency?

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 4:26 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I'm a little late in asnwering this question, but I think you should look into another adoption agency. You have no obligation to stick to them, especially if they are saying they can't help you. Take all of your information elsewhere and find a reputable agency. They will not turn you down simply because you're white. That's outrageous. Good luck and I hope you soon get your baby! :)

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 5:02 PM on Feb. 12, 2011

  • Some agencies are corrupt and are being sued by prospective and adoptive parents for things like this, I'd consider trying to contact other prospective adoptive parents within the agency to see if they are having any issues, and do research to see if they have any class action lawsuits pending. Or it could be that they are about to close their doors and are stalling. Or, just a bureaucratic wall.

    Answer by HeatherRainbow at 7:47 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

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