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Lies and how to deal with them

my fiance for the past month and a half has been telling me he dosent do any of those porn chats. this morning i cought him in the lie flat out. he wont even talk to me about it. i know he is not flat out cheating on me but if hes lieing about this then when will he start lieing about other things? what should i do im pregnant and love him more then anything.

 
blinkys11

Asked by blinkys11 at 12:48 AM on Feb. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,181 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • He is probably ashamed and therefore feels the need to lie. It is very important that he understands that lieing in any fashion will destroy the relationship. Without trust the relationship dies. Are you sure he is chatting online with others? Sometimes things pop up when at porn sites so it might just be he is looking at porn. If this is an issue for you talk to him calmly and tell him your feelings. Hear him out too. Working issues out is one thing. But he has to understand that lieing is wrong.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:18 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • i'm confused- what exactly is a porn chat? is he watching porn or actually conversing with these women? to me, those are two huge and different things. if he was conversing, than i'd leave him. obviously that's much easier said than done but that's insanely disrespectful towards you- and if he's willing to do that, then you have to think of what it could escalate to. now if he's just looking at porn, and that's something you're against/don't like- than that explains why he lied to you, but it doesn't excuse it. for all you know he could be lying about other things. sorry, this might not be what you were looking for- but my best advice is pre-marital counseling to get these things in the open. a lot of people believe their fiance's will change after marriage, but that's not how it works....hence the high divorce rate. good luck.
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 1:07 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I AGREE !!!!!!!

    Behavior like this, "CAN HURT A CHILD"!!!!!!!!
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 2:39 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Once the lie then the trust never happens again.
    avilio54

    Answer by avilio54 at 11:01 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • My feelings are...no trust = no relationship.
    HKing01

    Answer by HKing01 at 11:16 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • porn i can handel. it was the fact it was a live chat with some one he could see. i did talk to him and hes says he lied because he was ashamed just like anon said. he did finaly tell me the truth about it said hell stop he dose not fully understand why i am mad but he want to fix it. so i think that is what maters at least for know.
    blinkys11

    Comment by blinkys11 (original poster) at 8:53 PM on Feb. 8, 2011