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2 Bumps

Is it okay for a single mom to have lots of guy friends, and occasionally bring them around her child?

i ask because the majority of my friends are guys. i have been able to keep our relationships platonic since ive known them and most of them ive known for 10+ years. the bio dad of my 4 year old and i split up during my pregnancy and he has no role in her life. but i do get together quite often with my friends and my daughter knows a few of them. one of them infact is her godfather. now i would never ask her to call them "uncle so and so" or anything like that. and she is attached to her godfather and some of my other friends but they play with her and stuff like that and come to the park with us. she knows theyre not her daddy. and its not like we hang out everyday either. im not dating anyone or even looking right now, im so busy with school, working a full time job and taking care of my babygirl. so how do you ladies view single mothers who hang out with guys a lot and bring them around their children? is it wrong, or acceptable as long as there are boundaries in place for both the child and the male friends?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Feb. 8, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • There is nothing wrong with it, but just be careful who you leave your child with, period.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:14 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I was in the same boat as you. Single mom with a daughter and the father walked out when I was preggo and never looked back. Most of my friends were guys and they came to our house, went out to eat with us, went to park, etc. It is completely okay. You want her to be around guys and to be comfortable around them so when she starts school she's not afraid of men. As long as you keep it platonic in front of her you will do no damage.
    Proud_Mommy05

    Answer by Proud_Mommy05 at 10:18 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Just don't cross that line. The child will be really confused. Also don't do sleepovers with your friends.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 10:26 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I see nothing wrong with it. Having positive male role models in your daughters life is a good thing.
    Miss_Kay

    Answer by Miss_Kay at 10:11 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • i would never leave her with anyone except her daycare and my mom. i dont trust anyone because my ex is a psycho and ive been terrified since the day she was born that he would try to kidnap her. by bringing my friends around her i meant like coming over to our house and socializing with her or going to the park with us. stuff like that where i am always present.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I have no problem with that at all, guys, girls whatever, they are your friends.I think the reason that it is such a problem to introduce everyone you date to your child is because out off all the guys you may date, only 1 is gonna be around for ever and you don't want people coming and going through your child's life.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 10:19 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • could i borrow one or two of them?
    i am recently single mom (4 months now) my daughter is 3.5, her father is not around
    very hard because daughter has NO male in her life, i think it would be much better if she had an adult male play friend a few times a month, she may not miss her fahter as much

    is there such a thing as "rent a male role model"?
    there should be
    even thought of dating, not for me, but for her-lol...of course this is not an option- but it should be

    yes to your question...it is ok and better than ok, very lucky to have male friends play a part in your young daughters life
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 10:19 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • i see nothing wrong with having guy friends. In my experience, my guy friends have never stabbed me in the back like a NUMBER of my female friends have. I think it's healthy for your daughter to see that you can be friends with a number of people of either gender and it be platonic. Kudo's to you for trying to better yourself by taking care of you and her first! I think that makes you a great mother!
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 10:21 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I see nothing wrong with it at all.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:23 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • In your situation it is perfectly fine. She knows they're not her dad, she knows they are friends, and she is fond of them. That's great. If you were bring around date after date and she was confused about them being the father or not, etc then it'd pose a problem. However, since you have bounderies as to who they are and she knows this then it's perfectly fine. They're friends and you should be able to have guy friends and hang out with them.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:46 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

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