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I'm trying to make my daughter more independent....DD is almost 4.

She won't even put on her own velcro shoes, by herself, until just recently.
She won't put her socks on cause she's got this thing with them being "funny" if they don't sit just right on her feet then all hell breaks loose!

How do you go about making them more independent with those kinds of things?
I've sat here and showed her how to put one sock on, going slowly and explaining what you have to do. So I handed her the other one and said "you try with this side, and I'm right here to help you."......she freaked out, ran away upset and just wanted me to put it on.
Will someone please give me a little advice and what are your 4 year old's capable of doing right now?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Feb. 8, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • idk how to help you my boys are both very independent, and were dressing themselves at 2< not perfect but still dressing lol> i just taught them starting at around 9 months how to do things, my 4 1/2 year old can get 100% dressed, shoes included, not tying though. he takes a bath by himself brushes his own teeth uses the potty himself and washes hands, can make his own drinks and snacks.

    Answer by 2boysmommy.js at 10:46 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • These are the kinds of things that children usually come to on their own. When they are ready, they insist on doing them for themselves. Children develop differently in all areas, including manual dexterity, and it may be that she just isn't there yet. The same is true of tying shoes, getting dressed, potty training and on and on and on. When we try to force children before they are ready, they become frustrated and upset. I would just put her socks on her for now and not worry about it.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:36 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • You are the Mom & that's why you are there to care for her, that's your job. She is still too young to care for herself. Socks are hard for adults to put on sometimes. You should read the lyrics "Cat Stevens Cat's In The Cradle" The end of the song says:

    I've long since retired, my son's moved away I called him up just the other day I said I'd like to see you if you don't mind He said I'd love to dad, if I could find the time You see my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu But it's sure nice talking to you dad It's been sure nice talking to you And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me He'd grown up just like me My boy was just like me Soon

     She won't Need you at all so appreciate the time you have now.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I started out by allowing my 3 year old to pick out her own clothes and asked her if she would like to dress herself. She is very dependent on me for everything. She finally decided one day she was going to dress herself and has been everyday since ( somedays she doesn't even match at all, lol) right now I am currently teaching her to tie her shoes ( good luck when you get to that stage, geesh) my youngest daughter on the other hand is too independent. She is 17 months and won't let me do anything. It really depends on the child. Just keep working with her. She will get it :)

    Answer by amber1330 at 10:41 AM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • My 3.6 year old can (and does) dress herself completly -- with the exception of tying her shoes. HOWEVER -- she refuses to wipe her own bottom at home -- but will at preschool! WHen I ask her who does it at school, she says indignatly "I DO" -- Then when I ask her ?Well, then why can't you at home?" -- She explains -- "I CAN, mommy -- I just don't WANT TO" -- That pretty much explains it -- SO I generally just pacify her for the time being! We both know she CAN do it!

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 10:43 AM on Feb. 8, 2011