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2 Bumps

Won't talk to me.

I have decided I no longer want to be with my SO of 6 yrs since we don't get along and fight all the time. I don't feel happy. We have two children together. Well he hasn't stayed here for a few days he has been staying with his mom. Well today is his day off so I figured you know today would be a good day to talk about what we are going to do. Like who is gonna have them when, and all that stuff. Well he won't talk to me about it. He will come here take a shower and then leave. I really just don't know what to do. I figured he would want to see his children since has worked the past 7 days and haven't seen them. He tells me its kind of hard to take care of his kids and his sick mother. I understand his mother is sick but he has children too you would think he would want to see them?... I am so confused I wish he would talk to me. What would you do?

Answer Question
 
mommyof2_1989

Asked by mommyof2_1989 at 12:04 PM on Feb. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (347 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Try and try again. If he keeps refusing, you have to move forward on your own.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 12:05 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I don't think there's anything you can do. You cannot make him talk to you, and you can't make him want to see the children. You told him to go and he went. You may have to just be satisfied with that.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 12:09 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • try emailing him about seeing his kids. If he puts it writing that he doesn't have time or something like that, it will help you if this ever goes to court (it prob will)
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 12:11 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • You told him to go and he went.
    ---------------
    where in her post does it say she told him to go?

    sounded more like a mutual thing to me
    i agree with the poster that said, you can not make him talk
    men do go into caves when things are hard, men do not communicate like woman, he will talk to you, but it will have to be when he can find some words

    good luck
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 12:14 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Or write it in a letter- sometimes a letter is a good way to open the door to future communications. I know it worked for my mom when she was at her wits end with dad and felt like she couldn't talk to him about it...
    sfwilson

    Answer by sfwilson at 12:16 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • IDK It sounds like he is really confused over the situation. Do you think he really wants to divorce because it sounds like he is trying to avoid this subject.

    iluvmykidsxoxo

    Answer by iluvmykidsxoxo at 12:18 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Perhaps he's been a Mama's Boy all these years, and now he's kind of neglecting you cause she's sick.
    I feel his relation with his mom has affected your relation + marriage.
    Wait till she's better (or worse!), cause when your case goes to court, he can say that you did not respect his situation and his mom's sickness.

    I feel that your relationship can improve after the strain with his mom's sickness.
    lillyblue111

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 12:36 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Be sure that this is what you want. Fighting implies that it is a 2 way street. If this is what you want then be kind to him and give him time. Hopefully he'll come around but I am sure he is getting his life in order right now and needs time. Keep asking if he wants to set visitations and hopefully he will come around.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:27 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Maybe just tell him you would rather figure this amongs yourselves rather than thru the courts and you need to come to some kind of visitation schedule for the kids sake because they need some consistency with all this change. If that does not work I guess proceed thru the courts then.....good luck!
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 2:41 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • It has only been a short while since he left. He's probably just as confused as you are. But you cannot make him do anything. You cannot make him talk with you about the children and you cannot get him to open up. He'll do that when he's ready to talk with you. I would begin putting my life in order to move on....
    treasured_hope

    Answer by treasured_hope at 3:13 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

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