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Should i stay or go?

im 17, and please because of age, plase dont skip and move on to the next question. me and my Ex, my babys father. where together off and on for 6 years. More on the off. latly he has been telling me things and doing others. Our life styles are very much different, im a stay at home mom, and hes a drinker. there is something in me looking past the drinking, i know who he is and what he can do. He once brought up consouling and i not thinking said no right away. its true you dont know what you have until its gone. he comes over atleast 2-3times a week spending the night, but he doesnt want to commet. any advice?

oh and to get my family back im willing to do anything!

Answer Question
 
mommie-marcie

Asked by mommie-marcie at 2:54 AM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • You are so young to be dealing with this kind of responsibility. It is important for a child to have a relationship with both parents. Assuming that he isn't violent when he is drunk, I think you should ask him again about counseling. The fact that he didn't just up and abandon you is a sign that he has a conscience and does care about you and the child.
    Goodthings

    Answer by Goodthings at 3:08 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • you are so young to be having these issues ,I know you want to stay a family b/c of the little one ,but you will change so many times as you get older,you will want different things out of life at different times in your life . Dont just stay in the relationship b/c of the little one b/c trust me that never works , think hard about what you are getting from a relationship with this person ,what benefits you !! He is already saying he doesnt want to commit so he knows what he wants ,and honestley he will be coming over when he isnt doing anything else that is important b/c he knows he can . you need to be strong and have a serious think about what YOU want good luck honey and I know you wont want to hear it ,but you have a long life ahead of you and will go through so much more .
    loulou332

    Answer by loulou332 at 3:10 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • (19) well I think you should go...there are MEN out there that are willing to take care of you and your child love you and commit to you in the way you need it...like my ex I know what he could do and I know what he was and wasn't doing and he wasn't doing what he was supposed too! If you love him serouisly try and work it out but if he doesn't want to be the man and father thats needed move on......6 years is long enough to know.....I spent 3 years trying to figure it out and I wasn't all that time when I had another man that was perfect for me starin at me in the face. and I hurt him in the process of figuring it out..I'm finally happy I did tho!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • i can not tell you what to do but my ex is an alcholic but he could be sweet. i dont know how much your ex drinks but if you think it will get worse as you 2 get older than you have to think of your child do you want him to see that growing up? what concerns me is he does not want a committed relationship but he is still young. i agree my husband know has been a father to my son since he was 11/2 and he is a good guy. so they are out there. good luck but try to think of what you want in your future with your child.
    sdeignan

    Answer by sdeignan at 8:03 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Everyone is saying your to young...well you have a baby so... If you think he wont control his drinking leave...I just got through with this and he wont stop drinking unless HE wants to.
    Theone3608

    Answer by Theone3608 at 8:03 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • End it now! Six years is more than enough time to know what his real character is like.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:25 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • It's harder to leave then to stay but you need to do what is in the best interest of your baby. Raising the baby with an alcholic can cause a lot of problems as your child gets older. If he is willing to quit drinking then you guys might have a chance but otherwise you are setting your self up for heartache.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 8:58 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • he is deceitful and sounds like an alcoholic at an early age. it only gets worse... counseling will not help if he is an alcoholic. i have known and loved a few alcoholics who deep down were really good people. i myself am one. i suggest that you ask him if he is willing to get some help via aa. this is his demon to battle alone. if he really wants to do something about it he will. you are enabling him. you are in for a lifetime of misery if you don't make a step to end this pattern.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • He's been cheating on you because he is a little boy! Girls mature faster than boys, so maturity wise you are already so much older than he is. HE's not going to change this behavior anytime soon. Dump his butt and focus on yourself and your baby. You can do and deserve BETTER!
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 10:50 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • i am going to give you the best advice "Y PAY FOR THE MILK WHEN HE CAN GET THE COW FOR FREE"?
    elle2hot4u

    Answer by elle2hot4u at 11:10 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

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