Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Mother's right to privacy??????

My best friend just called me, she was so upset. She is 6 months pregnant and the father of her child walked out when she told him she was pregnant (about 3 months ago). Anyway, he had just called her to talk about when the baby is born. She told him what hospital she would be at and told him where the waiting room is so he would know just where to go. He told her that he wanted to be in the delivery room as did his mom. She said that she wouldn't allow that and he said that it was taking his rights away to not let him and his mother be in ther room. She gets to have 4 people in the room, she has chosen her mom, her 2 sisters and me (we have been best friends since we were 4). He feels like as she gets 4 people, he, as the father should get to choose 2 of them and he told her he chooses himself and his mom. She said" what about my right to privacy? Maybe I don't want my ex and his mother in the room while I am that exposed" She called the hospital and they said that as the mother, she has the right to say who is in the delivery room and who visits the baby in the hosptial. She told him that he can come visit the baby when she says he can. She will be breastfeeding so while in the hospital, quite a bit of the time will be consumed with that. My question is why would a man think he has the right to not only demand to be in the delivery room but to invited someone else as well? What about her right, as a human being, to privacy? For anyone who thinks he has this right, why doesn't she have the right to say who is allowed in the room while her private parts are exposed? Also, just a thought but a person with the mother in the delivery room is called a support person, who should someone be there who has had NOTHING to do with supporting her during the pregnancy?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Feb. 8, 2011 in Parenting Debate

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • She has the right to say who will be in there. Even if she were married to this guy she could kick him out if she wanted to. The doctors dont care about anything but getting that baby out safely and part of that job is to make sure mom is comfortable. She sure as hell does not have to invite the dad's mom! I would not want my MIL in the delivery room with me. he can cry all he wants about his rights but ultimately it is her decision alone who is in there with her.

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:07 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • His sense of entitlement is repugnant at best. Mom has the last word. SHE will be the patient. Her rights will be upheld. He needs to go let some air out of his overblown head. WTH is up with his she not aware that he bailed on his baby 3 months ago?  What a loser.


    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:12 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Oh boy...sounds like she has a rough road waiting ahead for her dealing with that one. :(

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:09 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • My question is why would a man think he has the right to not only demand to be in the delivery room but to invited someone else as well?

    To answer that , a jerk of a man. The hospital is absolutely right. Your friend gets to say who's there and who isn't. labor and Delivery is about HER and the Baby, not some stupid power play by an absentee father that walked out on her. I would let the hospital know that he is not welcome unless and until she says he can be there. The hospital security, and/or the nurses will (should) do what they have to do to keep him away.

    I know when I was in the hospital with my kids, now 7 and 4, the nursing staff would come ask me if I wanted to see such and such a guest before they would allow them back into my room.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:11 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Oh, you are absolutely right. It is her body, it will be her pain, and she has a 100% right to choose who will be in there to support her.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:12 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • i totally agree with you, he has no right to be involved PERIOD! he walked out because she was prego, he should just go screw himself! what a JERK!!

    Answer by nickellmomof2 at 1:08 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I feel she's right. He walked away so that takes away his rights to look at her exposed.

    Answer by aheuszel at 1:10 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Her rights as a patient of the Hospital are as follows:

    1. She has the right to require the hospital not to let anyone know she is there if someone calls to inquire.

    2. She is the only one who is allowed to declare who her 'Support Group' is in the delivery room. That means that she is the only person allowed to say who will be with her through the experience. As well as who can visit directly after.

    3. She is the only person who can say who is allowed to visit in the Mother/Baby Ward. This includes giving the Hospital a list of names of people who are NOT allowed to visit her if there is one.

    As the patient of that hospital she has full rights as to who comes and goes. She as well can opt out of people knowing about her stay at the hospital. The Father of the child, relatives, and friends have absolutely no rights. Only the patient themselves has rights.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:29 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • It is her right to say who is allowed in the room and who isnt.

    Answer by LiLJeni at 5:28 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Its her choice...i have had three kids and my first's dad was the same way...he ran scared and then toward the end after i had been through hell called cause he wanted to be there...i told him what hospital i would be in and that he could be in the waiting area but not in my room...he didn't even show up till i had been home with him for a week...And i was induced i gave him a time and a date. But since ive been married its just been my hubby and mom for the last too. and only my mom and my best friend for the first....She should have supportive loving people in there with her not idiots....she wants that baby born surrounded by love and happiness....I wish her teh best of luck she has every right in the world to tell him no!!!!

    Answer by mikenjess at 5:25 PM on Feb. 10, 2011