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Would it be wrong if i tell a little white lie to my husband....

we have been trying to have a baby for well over a year. He promised that after we get our tax return money this year that IF it hasnt happend he would go to the doctor to be checked (blood, sperm, etc..) he is dreading it. i know he doesnt want to go. so we have scheduled an appt to have our taxes done..should i tell him i'm so excited that i have also scheduled his appt for the doctor in march just in case it doesnt happen for us this month. i want to tell him this just so it will encourage him to want to try harder this month. is that bad? he is just usually too tired to try every day or even every other day. so i hope me telling him i've made an appt already will let him know i'm serious. I'm gonna wait before i make it though. i still want to give it about 3 months

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Asked by shay1130 at 3:17 PM on Feb. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • That could cause some problems I'm sure if he finds out or what if when you do make the appt they don't have it for March, I think you should be honest with him.

    Answer by choco_mom at 3:19 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Perfectly fine, no need to stress him out way ahead of time, good luck to ya, sending baby dust your way!!

    Answer by older at 3:19 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • no i want to make the appt for much further out..i just feel he isnt "really" trying..i think me telling him this will maybe make him try harder because he is dreading going. if it does get to march..i will just tell him.."ya know, i think we should give it another month or so" i wanted..and then schedule it

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 3:21 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • It really looks like you're trying to manipulate him into a situation. If someone did that to me, I wouldn't be happy about it, especially if it were my spouse. Maybe it won't turn into a big deal, but starting a baby under less than honest circumstances doesn't sound right.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 3:23 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER LIE.... if you'll lie about something small he'll think you'll lie about something WAY bigger and never trust you again. It's a bad road to go down when you're trying to have a baby. Be upfront and honest completely.

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 3:25 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • sorry but i would never argue to my husband about anything. What is going to happen if the day of the appointment comes and he finds out there isnt one?

    Answer by LizzieAnnesMom at 3:26 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • My DH has lied to me before. It has never been over anything big, but it still pissed me off. I know I would never want my DH to feel like I did, and I'm sure you don't want him to feel that way. Even little "white lies" can cause trust issues. Also, my DH would probably be embarrassed if I scheduled his doctor's appointments. Talk to him and tell him that if he doesn't try harder, than you would like to schedule his appointment. Let him make some decisions too. If there is a problem, you don't want to add more stress. That might make it more difficult to conceive.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 3:37 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • when you apply pressure to someone to do something you want them to do, they'll never put their whole heart into it.... don' t you want him to put his whole heart into starting a family with you? maybe HE'S not ready yet...

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 3:42 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • A lie is a lie is a lie.... no such thing as a little lie. If you want him to try harder... tell him that.....

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 3:49 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • i have told him...his excuse is always he is exhausted. i almost see it pointless in even going to the doctor. so what if there is something wrong....he will still be too tired to have sex..if he really wanted a baby he would try. i'm just to the point i want to say screw it.

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 3:54 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

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