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I have a very stubborn three year old who thinks she is the boss when we put her in time out she kicks hits and sometimes bites her dad and she pulls her hair I dont know what to do I dont want to not dicpline her and let her have her way

 
angelsparks

Asked by angelsparks at 5:14 AM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • She's pulling her hair for attention. When she pulls her hair, ignore her. It will be hard but it will stop. Also if she bites and kicks on the way to time out, try to say nothing, just put her in her time out and start the clock. if she gets up, again say nothing, grab her put her in it againa and restart the clock. It is a battle of will power right now and it will be very hard form you but trust me I promis you have more than she does. Be consistant and eventually it will get better. After time out is over, talk to her about what she did, have her say she's sorry, and then be sure to give her a hug to let her know your angry with what she did, and not her. Be sure never to hit. Hitting will can make her feel unloved, and may lead to more agressive behavior.
    Sammieanne

    Answer by Sammieanne at 12:54 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • If time outs are not working then it sounds like you need to try something else. We had a bad penny system. I took pennies and colored them black. Every time my children would get into trouble they would get a bad penny. After 5 bad pennies they would get punished.

    You also have to be consistent and always talk to her about why she is in trouble. She is old enough to understand and to tell you why. That was the other thing we do. My children have to be able to tell me why they were punished. If they do not know then I tell them why and we talk about it.

    Good Luck
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:13 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I do use time out. I put him in a travel yard that he can't climb out of for 2 minutes (sobbing). Then I come back, hold him, explain what needs to happen, and tell him to go do it. He usually does. But I have to be honest - sometimes we have to repeat the process several times. I also remind myself to be calm even when I don't feel calm. I fake it for him. He also bites. I find he does that when he needs us to pay attention to him - he just doesn't have the vocabulary to say, "hey I need you right now." Routine is key for us. We have a set routine and it helps. I head off trouble by playing with him and giving him that time he needs. I also ignore when he cries, like at our dinner table, and continue talking with my husband. He gets it and calms down (eventually). I find that busy and rushed don't sit well for my little guy. So slowing it down and turning routine into fun and games often is a big help.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:38 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • i agree that it might be time to try something else. whenever i have found that our methods arent working i notice it is becasue we get into times that my husband and i seem to be always punishing or yelling. at times like that I guess the kids feel like they are always "bad". so we have to remember to show them lots of encouragement when they do the things they are supposed to do through out the day. And not let the disciplining get to us as parents. Its something that has to be done. I also find as long as you show you are not frusterated it goes better. As soon as my son sees hes getting to me it all gets worse. We are trying to have a no yelling house at the moment. Including us parents. Its really hard casue i am a yeller,. I always have been. But i notice the kids yelling at each other when they play and i know its becasue of me. LOL Its all a learning process moms, keep up the good work!
    SparklesOfAmber

    Answer by SparklesOfAmber at 8:51 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • if she hits you when you put her in time out you shoudl put her in her room for about 5 min or until she calms down, she needs to know she cannot effect you during time out, not cause more of a problem. she could be old enough to loose favorite possessions to punish really bad behavior, i do that to my 3 yr old son and it stops him in his tracks, i dont think he knew it was possible till i got really fustrated one day and jsut did it. works for us. just keep trying new things! good luck you can win the battle.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:46 PM on Nov. 17, 2008