Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Custody and extra-curricular activities?

My sisters ex is refusing to take the kiddos to their extra curricular activities on his days that he has the kids because he is "tired" and "wants to spend time with them" and "he is not a chaffuer" (sp?)

Custody is split 50/50.

Would you take him to court and get the agreement amended to state that he has to take the kids to their activities? Or get the custody changed so you have them most of the time? (like 80/20)


Asked by Soniam301 at 3:32 PM on Feb. 8, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 18 (5,892 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Personally I'd go back to court. If he can't be bothered to support his kids in their activities then he shouldn't be bothered with those precious angels. Period.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 3:37 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I tend to agree with Rosehawk. If he's too tired to take them to their classes, then he's too tired to play or interact with them at his home, and they should be with the parent who is willing to do that.

    Answer by corbysmom531 at 3:40 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • More then likley a judge will say the mom can pick them up from dad's place and take them to the activites and them bring them back to him for the rest of his visit.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 5:37 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I think you have to find a balance.. try to plan the activities during your time?? Doubt a judge will change the court order because of your preference.. they don't see the kids as having the preference but more something YOU did to get them involved. Sorry

    Answer by Camilletnt at 5:40 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • My mom and dad have been divorced since i was three, I started playing softball when i was five and my brother played baseball...I got really good. My dad had it put in the custody agree ment that they both were required to accomadate our extra activities because it was only fair to us...I played on three softball teams at once. i played year round because i was good and i loved it. My mom hated that she had to take me regaurdless but she did it anyway...You have to do what you have to when it comes to your children and there happiness and if that means having a judge tell him he has no choice then that is what you do.To tired is not an excuse my dad only had us every other weekend but he made sure we were at our activities no matter what plans of his they interfered with! THAT IS WHAT DADS DO!!!

    Answer by mikenjess at 5:42 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • id tell him if he wasnt willing to do his part when he has them then your going to switch the custody to mainly you since he cant seem to do what he should. raising kids isnt always easy of course being tired is part of the deal.
    or maybe you could switch days if your really kind towards the father so he doesnt have the kids on thier activity days?

    Answer by mama2r at 3:39 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Since there are 3 kids involved, switching the days wouldn't work because one of the kids will have an activity, KWIM?

    So she either has to get more custody or have it in the sgreement that he has to take them or be held in contempt, the kids are very upset that he wont take them...

    Comment by Soniam301 (original poster) at 3:41 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Ugh!!! Don't get me started- my ex doesn't think he has to take my son or pay for any of his activities. We went to court last year and the judge did not find extra curricular activities to be of any importance and just told us to figure it out!!  It's hard to see my child miss out on the things that are important to him because his dad doesn't find them be important.  Good luck!!!


    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:23 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • JLS- She offered to do that but of course he said no because that is taking his time away...

    Camillent- SO the kids just suffer and miss out on things they love because dad is lazy and not wanting to compromise? That stinks.

    And these activities were the activites the kids have been doing since before the divorce...

    Comment by Soniam301 (original poster) at 5:58 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Oh, I don't know what to say-except she needs to do what she has to do to get the kids to the activities-the kids will suffer- I have seen this way too often with my kids friends and it always ends badly for the kids- go to court, get custody, drive them yourself-whatever-I agree with you- their activities are vital to these kids- what a schmo the Dad is being!

    Answer by soyousay at 7:55 PM on Feb. 8, 2011