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Okay, my 14 yr old son is into girls. has had a girlfriend that I feel was very advanced for her young age from what I could see. He is no longer talking to her but has a new gf. His grades are failing now that football season at school is over so we took his cell phone and he gets extremely mad when we point out that the texting and gf may be part of the problem. There is a teacher that calls me almost daily about the silliest little things. Whats a parent to do?

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Asked by MyBella75 at 6:49 AM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (7)
  • I think you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. I know with my son I had to get to the point were I said "I have already done this and so has your father, if you want to fail then it is your future you are messing up not mine" I had to let him fall in order for him to understand.

    It also sounds like he is trying to exhibit control over his life. I would take the cell phone away and tell him that until his grade improve he can not have it back.

    It is so hard to get your children to understand that we only do these things because we love them. At some point you just have to back off and let them try things their way. Hopefully they will realize that failing is not the way to go.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:01 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • My coworker's grandson is going through something similar. He was an A student all the way around and then he got a girlfriend that he fell head over heals for. Report card time came and it was an ugly sight. His dad was so upset he called my coworker to complain about "her grandson." I think you did the right thing. No more cell or limit cell phone calls and the time in which these calls can be placed. Texting the same. I do think teens need the opportunity to EARN privledges and that they need some opportunities to be immediate so that it doesn't seem so hopeless - as in why bother trying I'm grounded forever. My philosophy is give them the opportunity to earn a privledge and what can be given can be taken. A good parent does what you are doing - setting up limits and boundaries. So let him be mad. He will be even more angry if he doesn't graduate and get a good job later.

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:09 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • My ds-15- always has a drop in grades the term after hockey season, talking to other parents I have found that it is fairly common, they have less structure so can put off the homework and it gets put off and not done. We have a rule that hw needs to be done before the tv, video games and computer come on or he goes any where.

    Answer by goaliemom93 at 8:09 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • i think 14 is too young to have a bf/gf especially if their grades are failing then i would think that he isn't mature enough to handle both. the education and extra activities and i would tell them you have to break up 1 cause your not old enough 2 it can't affect your school work etc.

    Answer by melody77 at 2:46 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • One thing the other posters haven't mentioned is why is your son's teacher calling YOU daily? Is she calling you during school hours for things that aren't involving your son? Is she new to the area and looking for a friend or do she sincerly thing she's being helpful to you by telling you each and everything your child does.
    The reward system no matter how babyish pre teens and teens make it seem works quite effectively no matter what a person's age. Even as adults we modify our behaviors for a reward, look at all the credit card rewards programs that some people have cash in their hand for a purchase but pay those insane cc intrest rates of 22% or more just to get X amount off a flight or X $ back.

    Answer by Tygermommanikki at 3:16 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • HI i have a 16 year old son i know but he is not allowed to date just do what you feel is right as a mom we believe in the lord he has ways he does miracles thats what i been doing just pray hard an dont give up just be there for him im sorry thats all the advice i have for you.sisterlisa your sister in christ.

    Answer by HelpingPeople at 7:19 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • The problem may be the loss of the girl, my SIL is 14 and had a boyfriend not to long ago shewas so happy and me and her are really close and then when they broke up she was devastated they dated for 8 months and she really liked him but he was a cheat and i tried everything with her but she got out of that stage and found another boy which was better for her at least i thought until her grades dropped from an A average to a C which worried me abit but now she has broke up with him and enjoying life as it comes. Maybe you should give him something else to focuse on instead of taking away privlages never learns a teen anything because they do it again anyway.


    Answer by happytohelp at 7:27 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

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