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2 Bumps

What would you do if your fiance of 10 years was gay?

I can't believe she didn't know ~

"Kiri Blakeley, whose memoir “Can’t Think Straight” describes the shock she experienced when she learned her fiance of 10 years was secretly pursuing relationships with men, tells Meredith Vieira that she “couldn’t get as angry” as she would have if he’d been having an affair with a woman."


Asked by tasches at 4:51 PM on Feb. 8, 2011 in Relationships

Level 48 (298,202 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • My dear MIL was married to a gay man for 20 years and had four children with him. He left her to pursue a very wild single life that included drugs and promiscuous gay sex. She didn't know until the end of their marriage that he was attracted to men. I also had a dear friend who was married for over 10 years when her husband, the father of her two children, was arrested in a public park trying to pick up men in the bathroom. It was a well known public pick up place for gays.

    Both men were very successful. My FIL was also very religious and the children were raised in a Catholic school. I think these men are excellent at keeping secrets.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 6:27 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • lol. I think fiance for **10 years** is a pretty good clue!

    Answer by boobarandbell at 4:52 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Hard for me to imagine being engaged to someone for 10 years.

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 4:52 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • he still lied to her, deceived her, and betrayed her trust. it might be easier to swallow that his affairs were with men, because its easier to not feel self-conscious about yourself if your man is sleeping with a beautiful woman, but that doesnt negate the lying & cheating involved here. i would most certainly leave him, not that i would have much choice in the matter anyway if hes not attracted to me physically.

    and i do believe he may not have fully been aware when he got with her, sometimes it takes a lifetime for people to accept their sexuality. they lie to themselves by being with the opposite sex but its only a matter of time before they learn to embrace who they really are. when he discovered it though he shouldve been honest with her. and the 10 year engagement is a redflag also.

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:00 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • That would explain the reluctance to get married. I mean, I know marriage is not for everyone, but then you don't get engaged.
    I'lll admit, I'd be pissed. Not because he is gay, but because he led me on for so long. He has the right to be happy, but so does she. He should have let her know so they could both move on.

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:25 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • A) why is it so hard to understand that not everyone is foolish enough to tie the knot?

    B) I wouldn't be surprised if my ex swung that way.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 4:54 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Dump his sorry, lying butt immediately. Why is it so hard for people to be honest? Not only that but it's insulting to you...does he think you look like a man?

    Answer by bernadettejay at 4:56 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I wouldn't have stuck around for more than 2 had I been engaged. She should have known something was up before then.....or their families.....

    Answer by CABlonde at 5:06 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I suppose I would get rid of him.

    Answer by Aquarius80 at 5:08 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Honestly? I cant say how I would react unless I in that situation.

    Answer by whiskey80 at 5:11 PM on Feb. 8, 2011