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3 Bumps

The 'L' word from my boyfriend of 4 years

We have told each other that we love one another, but it's on rare occasions. We've been together for 4 years and for over 5 months, I haven't heard him say it. I even ask him if he loves me and he responds by saying:"you know how I feel about you!' I feel as though he doesn't love me anymore because he hasn't proposed. I know love is more than words, but why can't he say it. I asked him many times and he will either avoid the question and/or tell me that he cares and I should know how he feels. It just feels good to hear it sometimes.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Feb. 8, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I would wonder why...

    If he says "you know how I feel about you" you could say "actually I feel kind of confused. I wish you'd express yourself more clearly."

    Answer by angelm523 at 9:32 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Actions speak louder than words, and marriage does not define a relationship.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:13 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • actions do speak louder than words, but the words "i love you" are very important too!! you need to hear it the same as someone whos husband say's 'i love you" but doesn't show it......i dont see any reason why it would be difficult to say those words

    Answer by Ethans_Ma at 9:30 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • what an a$$h0(@!!!

    Answer by prettymango at 9:27 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Have you tried telling him directly that you need to hear "I love you" some more? Just tell him it makes you feel good and special and loved when he says it. Don't try and make it a game by trying to get him to say it in round about ways, just be upfront and honest. Good communication! GL

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 12:10 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • What would having a ring on your finger and a piece a paper do for you?
    If you want to be together forever, 4 years really isn't a long time. But, him not telling you he loves you, from time to time, is not ok. It sounds like one of those assholes that will break your heart, and in the end he says "well, i never really said ILY."
    I'd be honest with him, and tell him what you have told us... Maybe he thinks it is just too overused nowadays? Maybe it means more to him, so he thinks saying it everyday will cheapen the meaning? Or maybe he just doesn't want to say it.. Who knows!?
    You need to ask him to be honest with you, and either he loves you or he doesn't. I don't need a ring and a piece if paper to let me know my man loves me unconditionally... He shows me and tells me all day long.
    But if he didn't show it, and didn't say it. We would be having a lot of discussions about this...

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:18 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • What angelm said.

    Answer by iluvmybabe at 11:04 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • Time to have the big talk and be ready to walk if he can't bring it to the next level.

    Answer by KarenT214 at 11:33 PM on Feb. 8, 2011

  • I wouldn't be concerned if he wasn't ready to propose after 4 years but not even saying ILY after 4 years would really make me wonder why it is he's with me then..

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Feb. 8, 2011