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Have any of you ladies been here with your SO?

I know it is bad but I just wondered if there was anyone that has been thru the same thing as me. I have been with my SO for 4 years. We have known each other for 20. He is a family friend always been there. Anyway my oldest daughter was molested by my youngest daughter's sperm doner. My SO was there for us to help us thru it all and he really helped my oldest daughter get past all the emotional stuff and be able to trust men again. He was there for us when my youngest had 2 open heart surgeries. He is not the father to any of my children but he is the only daddy that my youngest has known. But he is always talking to other women. He is honest about what he is doing never lies about it. He has even told me when he cheated on me with someone. I do love him and always have. But I get mad over him talking to other women. He doesnt understand why.

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bellabuddybug

Asked by bellabuddybug at 9:06 AM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • He has 3 women that text him for hours every night and he will talk to them on the phone for like a hour some nights. I know it is cheating even if he tells me about it. I think sometimes he doesnt understand how it makes me feel. Like he thinks that as long as I know what he is doing that it is alright. I love him with all my heart and my kids really love him. We have been apart due to his work and our lives werent good when we werent together. But now that we moved down here and he is home every night it seems worse then ever. I have not really made up my mind if we are going to go or stay yet. But me and the kids are going away for thanksgiving. I thought maybe it would help me see if being away from him would make me feel any better then I do right now. I love him but he is hurting me so much I dont know how much longer I can stay and deal with it.
    bellabuddybug

    Answer by bellabuddybug at 9:07 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Anyways any one been thru this before? any comments are welcome just wanting to know I am not alone in this world going thru all this by myself. Had lots to say sorry ladies
    bellabuddybug

    Answer by bellabuddybug at 9:08 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Never been there, but you are ofcourse. Read your post and what came to my mind was: do you like yourself that you are willing to except less. He told you he cheated on you and he talks to other women. Yeah you know that so what I see is someone who is settling for less. He is who he is so what does he need to understand.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Never really have been in your shoes but I can not help and wonder why you stay. Don't you believe in your heart that you deserve more. Not trying to bash you.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 9:17 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Yes, I agree w/above posters. You do... deserve more. Don't you think you deserve more?
    cat4458

    Answer by cat4458 at 9:51 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Would he be jealous if it were you doing the cheating & 'texting'? Try asking him to put himself in your place. Communicate and ask him what he wants. I feel he is being disrespectful to you & your relationship.
    mareamadori

    Answer by mareamadori at 9:54 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • my question is WHY ARE U STILL W/THIS MAN??? if he cheats the 1st time he will do it again!!!..please pray & think about this carefully..he is clearly cheating on u..there's no such thin as an honest cheater..
    craftygal76

    Answer by craftygal76 at 9:56 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Ask yourself... what would you do if you disregard the history of both being there for your children and his cheating... deal only with what is happening. It is quite clear this relationship is not good for you. I was not in the same situation, but I almost married a guy one time just because he was so, so good for my daughter. He really took on the daddy role and she loved him very much and he really helped her through some things I hadn't been able to. But with me the communication was nil... he would not talk to me about negative feelings and ended up breaking up with me in a complete surprise move a week after he threw me a huge surprise birthday party. I had no idea that was coming.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:26 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • The bottom line is he removed himself emotionally from the relationship a while back. He still cared for me and my daughter, but not in the way that we deserved and supports a real relationship. Even after we broke up and I moved across the country he drove me and all my stuff here bc he was worried about safety. I don't think he's a bad person, I think I just deserve someone who wants to be with me.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:26 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • He doesn't understand why you get upset that he talks to other women? Kick his butt to the curb. He isn't in to you the same way you are in to him. Sorry but that's the way it is. Stay friends with him by all means, it sounds like he is a great uncle for your girls, but you deserve someone who wants to treat you like a queen!
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 10:53 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

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