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I have had it with my kids and not sleeping all night.

I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 16m old. I have basically been a single mom for a year now. Their dad has been gone for 3months now, as he was the majority of the year. We have had the same routine since baby #2 was born. I still gave both a bottle of 3-4oz at nap and bed....for my own sanity. I don't care to hear about bottle mouth. To me it is the same as a pacifier. Well, I have been living at my parents now for 3 weeks. My mum is helping while my dad is at my grandfather's caring for him. Anyways, I thought the support would have helped. But the kids are still awake. My oldest is up 3-8x a night. The baby 2-3x. I am so freaking exhausted. I thought at this point they would both sleep better. It seems to just get worse. They had to be put in the same room, which went well for 3 nights and now for 4 nights it's been hell. One wakes and the other wakes. When I get into an apt it will be a 2br and they have to learn to be in the room together. But I can't get them to sleep. Getting out of bed isn't an issue for the older, it's just getting to sleep and getting back to sleep. I even pulled my oldest into bed with me for a period of time when he would wake in the middle of the night, but he still doesn't stay asleep or go back to sleep easy.
I'm to the point to let them CIO. I have tried the Ferber method and going back in to check on either of them only makes matters worse. One night in the middle of the night he cried for an hour. I finally gave in and rocked him with a bottle. Someone suggested giving the 2 yr old melatonin, but there is no info on age guidelines for that. The pediatrician says let them CIO. All fine and dandy if they were in seperate rooms.
I am just at my end. I haven't slept a solid 4 hours in over 2 years now. There dad, when he was around, said let them CIO. I thought it was horrible to let them cry for a half hour or more. I probably should have just done that from the start.
I am ready to toss the bottles and make a major change, cause it's hell all night as it is. I just told my mum they are so used to being attended to, because it was easier for me to take care of one before waking the other when I was by myself with them, they are used to it. I tried 3x taking the bottle from my oldest and he was banging his head against the wall, thrashing around...and I thought, good God, take the bottle if you need that sucking to calm down. Better than harming yourself. And that was with me laying in bed with him hoping I could sooth him.

I never thought it would be this hard. Never. I thought by a year old they should sleep well, maybe waking once a night. But this is just crap....what am I to do??


Asked by 2BlondeBabies at 12:33 AM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • I just want to say, you have my sympthany and i am exhausted just reading that. Whenever you have two children in the same room it is definitely hard. What i would do if i were you is actually take the little one in your room for now, let the older one cry it out and get used to sleeping through the night, and then do the same thing with the smaller one in your room (you might have to sleep on the couch for a week or two) and let the little one cry it out. Check on them every couple hours or so, lay them back down (no eye contact, no talking) and walk out, when they both are then sleeping through the night in seperate rooms, put them both in one room and hopefully (praying for the best here) it works. Ive never had to deal with that except for a week when my friend and her son came to stay...but that was a week and we ended up sleeping on the couches so they would just be quiet. lol. Good luck hun!

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 12:44 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Yea i thought that with my son...and then i realized at 1 and a half he was sleeping closer to my husband than i was, thats when i ended that...I didnt want the cry it out method..but i was desperate and exhausted and now he sleeps through the night, sometimes he still wakes up but he can get himself back to bed ...after all that finially sleeping. It is harder for you because you have two babies sleeping in the same room. You mentioned a fan, thats good, i love white noise and so does my son, what about a nightlight? Something that has pictures going around in a circle to lull them back to sleep, or some soothing baby music for nighttime, what about putting your scent on two teddy bears, my son loves that, he is sleeping with my bear that i had over 10 years ago, its moth eaten, but smells like me and he holds that thing in a death grip lol. Make sure a bottle of water is in their cribs at all times so they have it.

    Answer by Bobbysgurl at 1:00 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • They even had this problem when they weren't in the same room. I guess I can say they have trained me to attend to them. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing and their bodies would outgrow waking so often. In the last house we lived in for the last year there were literally no doors on their rooms. So you could hear everything. I run fans in their rooms for white noise, and have done this since birth with both of them. I feel like I have tried all the "tricks" and suggestions. I may just be doomed to have kids who don't sleep well until they hit school age.

    Comment by 2BlondeBabies (original poster) at 12:52 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I have always had a nightlight too....that is how I changed their diapers and walked around the rooms. I will have to try a blanket I sleep with, sleep with it a few days then give it to him, etc. I keep thinking, this won't last forever at least. And thank God I don't have to work a full time job, I don't think I could function for it. I don't even get my hair fixed unless I am leaving the house. It can only get better !!

    Comment by 2BlondeBabies (original poster) at 2:06 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • It will get better!! Sounds like alot has been going on with all the changes.I would recommend a bedtime routine, maybe a snack a little bit before bed,bath,story, kiss goodnight, and tuck them in. CIO should work its just hard but your a tired momma and need some rest yourself. GL!!

    Answer by socalikim at 3:58 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Can your 2 year old talk well? I just learned from my son that he's afraid of open closets, from Monsters Inc. He's been closing the closet doors in our house for months, but I didn't realize why until about a week ago. Maybe your sons have a fear that something is going to happen if you are not there. My son will not go to bed by himself, and he's begun telling me he doesn't like the dark. One morning (we leave before light) he even grabbed a flashlight to take into the car. He was so excited when he figured out how to turn it on in the car. Of course daddy took it away because he was shining it in his eyes. That made my son cry, and then we had to put the rear seat light on in the car, and he was fine. Anyway, find out if there's a fear or underlying cause first, then see about making more changes to their routine.

    Answer by ladymomtraveler at 5:39 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • You can be successful at getting them to sleep. You just have to train them! You are the mom! They are just kids! I would first ditch the bottles. Cold turkey! Kids this age don't need them. The longer they have them the harder it gets. You may have to endure head banging or crying but just comfort them and it will get easier. In a few days they will be fine without them! Trust me it will be harder on you than them! You have to be strong and just commit to it! Don't give in for ANYTHING!

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:37 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • After they get off the bottle, get them going to bed by themselves. It seems tricky with 2 of them. I agree with getting them down separately then putting them together. Work with the first one first. If you have to sit by her bed, do so. Just make a rule that she sleeps in her bed only. If she wakes up at night you can rub her back but do not allow her out of bed. It might take a lot of energy and patience but once she gets it, it will be well worth it. Whatever you do once you start, commit to it 100%. No turning back or else you will make it worse! Once you get eldest on board work on younger one. Honestly it will only work if you commit to it and follow through no matter what. It may be hell but once the are off bottles and sleeping alone all night your life will be so much better! You can do it!

    Answer by bjane01 at 9:55 PM on Feb. 9, 2011