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What should I do about my ex, who is dumping my son on his mother?

My son Zac is supposed to be seeing his dad every other weekend. 3 out of the last 5 visits Zac's grandma has come to get him, telling me that his dad had to work late and couldn't come to pick him up. Every time that this has happened, Zac says that he did not see his dad the WHOLE weekend. This last weekend was a 4 day instead of 3 day weekend. My ex made such a big stinkin' deal about regular visitation, that he and his MOTHER took me to court. Now I hear that Zac's not really seeing his dad. My dad and a few of my friends think that I should call my attorney and make a big stink about it. Part of me really wants to, but the other part likes Zac not seeing his dad. Zac used to come home with MAJOR ATTITUDE and now he's just a joy when he comes back. He's happy, helpful, and very loving. So some of my friends think that I should just leave well enough alone. What do you guys think? I'd appreciate ANY ideas on the subject. Thanks!


Asked by ZacsMomm at 2:48 AM on Jul. 8, 2008 in About CafeMom

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Answers (5)
  • i would leave it alone long as your boy is content with spending time with grandma and isn't being mistreated he deserves the time with her also..i came from a broken home trust me keep it as civil as possible for his sake but it is definitely good ammo..that jerk will be sorry someday when he can't get this time back..good luck to you and your son

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • If the grandma takes care of him and is not harming him, I would say let it alone. Let him see his grandma, and you always have that ammunition in your corner if dad decides he ever wants to go back to court.

    Answer by Deanna14 at 3:36 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • Grandma and daddy took you to court was it just grandma wanting the visitation? Sit down with her if you can. Tell her if she wants to see him to just let you know as long as that is how you feel. IF you are open with her you might find that helpful for your son. Don't put your son threw more court if he is not being hurt then try to work something out with grandma so he knows everything is ok with going with grandma don't ask if he had a good time with his dad ask how he liked spending time with his grandma and if he mentions his dad that ok.IF you do it might make him feel bad that his dad did not take time for him but grandma is so focus on that.

    Answer by mamagator at 7:56 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I agree!! Work with grandma. It seems like a healthy environment since he is such a joy after he visits with her. You may not be able to keep him from seeing his father while he is there, but it doesn't sound like that's much of a problem, anyway.

    Answer by drowninginboys at 10:00 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • Speaking as a grandmother who loves her grandkids, sometimes the love of a grandmother is a lot better than the child being with the dad who might not give him the time and attention he needs. During divorces kids just want to be loved and be assured that they are still cared about. The worst thing I think I've ever endured was when my son's gf took their sons away from me bc she was mad at him. Please don't be that cruel and rip her heart out. If she is making the child happy in his visits then just appreciate her and enjoy the break.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:11 PM on Jul. 8, 2008