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Hi, I am a mom soon to be divorced with three children. I was recently passed over for a postion. I work for city government. I was considering filing a complaint of discrimination. My question is should I follow through knowing that my boss has already selected another person (by the way this person is a former co-worker) or do nothing because if I did it would cause a lot of tension and I can't afford to loose my job now. Confused.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Money & Work

Answers (8)
  • Why were you passed over? Did you ask? Were you even given an interview for this new position? Ask your boss in a nice manner first why? If you truly feel like you were discriminated against then yes file a complaint.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Personally, I think you have alot going on in your home life that you need to focus on. If the divorce is definately going to take place, then you need to prepare for that critical change. It is going to take much of your mental and physical energy to deal with your home life. I would really allow the job to go on auto pilot for right now. You can deal with the job situation later.

    I think you have answered your own question. Please do not create additional tension around you. You have three children to manage and teach how to adjust to the new changes. You need to use the energy you have right now for your children.

    Answer by Faithfulservant at 10:16 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I would just leave things as they stand right now. You didn't state WHY you feel that you are being discriminated against, but you have a lot of personal stuff going on and maybe you don't realize that it has been affecting you at work. Your boss may have just thought that you weren't ready for this new position right now, which doesn't mean that when you get your life back on track there won't be something else that comes your way. I don't think that you should stir up trouble right now, sometimes things happen for a reason. Plus like you said, you really can't afford to lose your job right now. Just wait it out and see if something comes along later. If you continue to get passed over, then ask your boss why.

    Answer by slw123 at 10:23 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I also would leave things how they stand right now. That is not to say I would not fight for a higher position later, but it may very well be that the boss was "looking out" for you and trying to not put more on your plate. Establish yourself without hubby. Prove your abilities, yes, again. And try for the position again. Good luck.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 11:08 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • you can not loose your job or be fired for inquiring WHY the position was not given to you. You can avoid tension by being open and honest. Put your feelings out, but be prepared for the truth. Why not inquire what you need to do to be better qualified for that position or what can you do to ensure a promotion in the future. Classes / seminars/ training..whatever. I agree about people saying maybe you were distracted / your work effected by your current situation. Knowledge is power, maybe have a sit down with your boss about your situation how you have been distracted by this life change but you have now put it past you and are ready to refocus your energy on blah blah.... communication is key any work environment. Ive been away from it awhile, but the squeaky wheel always gets the oil, deserving or not. that is how life is.

    Answer by Kerinmomof2 at 12:12 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • at review time is the most important time to communicate. I have seen to many employees not receive the raise they deserve but have it go to someone else because they had a voice. My dept was allocated so much of a % of money to be spread about 2o people. Someone could give 4% across the board. If Jane works so hard she might get 6% where as Joe only 3% due to errors. there is always a Bob that ends up taking a % away from someone that deserves it because he has a load voice and is persistent about his dedication to the company. even though everyone else knows Bob is a bum and doesn't deserve it. Management doesn't always know really who does what. Only when something wonderful happens or something turns out horribly. good luck

    Answer by Kerinmomof2 at 12:12 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • LOUD voice not load oops

    Answer by Kerinmomof2 at 12:13 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • The person may be more qualified than you. So unless you know you were discriminated against I would let it go. I know it is hard to think someone might be better at a job than we are but this happens. Ask your boss what you can do to make sure you get the next promotion. If you were discriminated against and you have proof by all means pursue it. You may get backlash over it so be prepared.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

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