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Would it bother you?

I was driving my soon to be mil home and she told me she found out I was going to be working. (It will be at the same place as my fiance and her, but different shift) she replies "that's real good, you'll be able to help him out instead of sitting at home." I was thinking is she for real? For the last three years I've been a stay at home mom, so I was taking care of the house and the kids. But yet, she can ask him for money when she knew he was the only income and expecting me to drive her home or take her here or there. Sometimes I just want to snap at her but if I do, she would only exaggerate what I said..because that's how she is in general ( and fiance knows this of her). I think in the end I pretty much just tolerate her. I've heard the expression "when you marry the son, you marry his mother too" but damn.


Asked by virgo550 at 6:56 AM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,568 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I find that women who make that "sit at home" comment are usually resentful because they are unable (for what ever reason) to stay home. I WISH I could sit home lol. We disconnected our home phone because I'm rarely here lol. and people who make those comments are the first to call you to do something for them too, like you have nothing else to do but run errands for random people! Ugh! I wouldn't waste my energy on getting mad at her, I would just ignore her and do whatever you and your SO think is best for your family.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:26 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Her comment just shows ignorance. You have a right to be ticked off as I would. Some battles are not worth fighting, however. As long as your fiance supports and backs you up, let it go. Mind you, I'm a very verbal person, but I'm learning to let insignificant things go. My mother-in-law was wonderful; unfortunately, she passed away a long time ago. I get some pretty insulting and ignorant remarks from my own mother. It's very hard sometimes to "bite my tongue," but I'm getting a new perspective on relationships with the help of my psychologist. You know the value of being a stay-at-home mom and that's all that matters!

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:30 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • That sucks that she has to take that attittude with you. She knows darn well that you aren't SITTING at home while you are up doing laundry and dishes and cooking and out shopping and playing taxi cab for her.  She is probably feeling pretty worthless herself having to borrow money or take charity from her son.  How pathertic is that!


    Answer by LoveMyDog at 10:12 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • That was a pretty insensitive thing to say; but I've had people make those kind of comments to me because I'm a SAHM. Ignore her silly comment, she sounds bitter.

    Answer by Scuba at 7:02 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I'd speak out anyway, and just let her exaggerate....

    Answer by Anna92464 at 7:14 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • That would tick me off and like you I'd probably come on cafemom to b**** about it later :) Hope your day goes better!

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 7:16 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • That's true, Zoeyis, but for the past three years I had been making an effort to look for work and she knew this. And for the past two years I've been giving her rides home, and here or there.. So I could be like hell, you've had two years to save up for a car or take the bus.

    Comment by virgo550 (original poster) at 7:21 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Some mother-in-laws are just awful people. They can't all be nice. Mine is terrible and we haven't spoken to her in 13 years. She isn't going to change, so either learn to live with it or tell her to take a hike. You could always remind her that you are the mother of her grandkids and if you decide to walk away from her she won't have access to them. That might make her think twice about her behavior.

    Answer by Marwill at 7:34 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I think some mother in laws are the devil incarnate!! They're just horrible.. You're doing the right thing by tolerating her but you also need to stand up for yourself and let her know you weren't just sitting on your behind for the last three years. If you can get the point across in a non confrontational way, that'll be good!!

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 7:43 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • it took my husband 6-7 years to figure that out about his mom. she has never really liked me but i really dont care. i have heard that saying about marrying mom too but no i definitely did not. i generally do not my mil's crap anymore, or any of his family since most do not like me. they think i should be working to help with the bills but we have a system and we are really happy with it. i would just tell her " you dont hve to like me, you son does!" and leave it at that

    Answer by newlife627 at 7:50 PM on Feb. 9, 2011