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He doesn't seem to understand..(TMI) adult content

My husband often comes home from work in the morning. He works the overnight shifts usually from midnight to eight, occasionally from six to six. Quite often, he'll come home and say to our LO, "Ok, go watch cartoons so I can do things to mommy" which absolutely drives me nuts! Not only is it rude to assume I'm in the mood for anything, but to say something like that to our 3yo.

I'm more of an evening person. I wasn't, before we had a LO, but now that we do, I don't feel comfortable having intercourse while the LO is up. I don't want to be asked for juice in the middle of it, you know?

I've expressed this feeling to my DH, but he doesn't seem to get it. I love him, and often wind up feeling guilty that I can't satisfy his needs, but why can't he understand that for me, it's not an instant thing, and that it's hard for me to wind down and enjoy the closeness when the little one is in the next room, often running up and down the hall saying "Mumma? Daddy? Wheres is you?"

And then, often, he'll wait until I've just gone into our room to get dressed. So I just spent the effort (I'm 7mos pregnant and feeling huge, btw) to go into the bedroom, and get dressed, and now he wants me to get UNdressed? Why can't he wait until the evening, after LO is asleep? Why in the morning, when I'll wind up exhausted all day, and be cranky with the LO because I'm tired.

More venting than question...but if anyone has any good advice, I'd appreciate it..

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:57 AM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • I dont know the answer, but he needs to compromise! We dont ask the kids to be awake do we! Hope you get something sorted

    Answer by mum-to-a-cutie at 8:10 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • It's not that he doesn't understand; it is that he is thinking only of himself and what he wants. It's childish, and it's immature. He is not only not thinking of you, he isn't thinking of the child either. I would just tell him he is going to have to wait until a more opportune time. You don't have to be hateful about it, but you will need to be firm. It might help you to read BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE BY Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It will help you with saying no and sticking to it.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:13 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • My dh and I are on different schedules, sexually speaking. I'm a morning person and he's a night person. Although we do it more at night because I don't like to leave the children unattended or listen to "Mmmmoooommmmyyy, what are you doing?" lol. Although, some mornings the kids sleep in and when he gets home from the night shift, we're both happy lol. I think your solution lies in your dh maturing and realizing that if he wants you to want to do it, he's going to have to work more around your schedule and needs, not his.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 5:43 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

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