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2 Bumps

14 yr old smoking!

Ok so yesterday my dd left her im open on FB and I read where she was "going to smoke a cig, bbl" I of course confronted her and at first she denied it but then admitted that she had been smoking. She gave me a few cigarettes that she had and swore never to do it again. We have talked about smoking and all the dangers.I want to believe her but for some reason I don't. I am not sure what punishment I should set for this. She is a good girl and we have a wonderful relationship, but I think I have been way to trusting. What punishment would you set if this was your daughter?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • when I got caught smoking at 14, I had to do hard labor for the whole time I was suspended from school. I continued to smoke. My parents tried all kinds of punishments and they didnt work on me, perhaps you should take her to see cancer patients or something? I have heard that that has more of an impact on kids, but Im not sure. GL I hope you can get through to her

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 9:59 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • -~*Smiles*~... are you sure she didn't give you a few cigarrettes to avoid giving you the pack? If she is taking a "smoke break", might already be addicted to them...

    Keep an eye out! Parenting it hard!!!

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 10:04 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I have searched her entire room & found nothing! I mean my husband & I searched everything!!! She won't tell me who she is getting them from because she doesn't want to "get them in trouble" but who knows!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:08 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I wouldn't punish her this time. She came clean, gave you the cigs she had, and you guys had a talk. Give it a chance now. If you catch her again, then you may need to take another approach.

    Good luck, I hope she doesn't continue. I started smoking at 14 and wasn't able to quit for many, many years. It's a habit I sure wish I'd never started.

    Answer by vicesix at 10:15 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • i was going to suggest having her visit some lung cancer patients as well. but i wasn't sure if that was something i made up and could be considered an "inappropriate" suggestion, or something that i heard from somewhere else. haha.

    now i know...

    anyway, i'd probably go with that. ^

    Answer by r.e.l.s.m.o.m. at 10:18 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I would second the take her to see a cancer patient, specifically one with cancer from smoking , or maybe someone with COPD. I know from experience cancer is no walk in the park.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 10:19 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I caught my oldest son at 14 chewing tobacco (through a message on FB to a friend). The first time I had a long talk with him, I expressed my disappointment talked through the risks not only cancer but financially, addiction etc by the end of the talk he was crying and apologizing. He told me he would never do it again. So for two years I believed he hadn't. This past summer I caught him again, he had lost the can in my couch and I found it while cleaning. I grounded him this time, I expressed my lack of trust in him to make good decisions. He was furious with me and didn't talk to me for two days. We had another talk afterwards, I told him I can't keep him from doing it but I had trusted him to make better choices. I can't stop him at this point, but I did tell him it is not allowed in my home and I will not promote him ruining his health. I've not found anymore but I have no clue if he's doing it outside the home. GL

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:33 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I think there is a big difference between whether she is just in the experimental stage of if she's addicted. If she is just experimenting then just talk and try to educate her on how bad it is and take away an opportunity she has to smoke. If on the other hand she is truly addicted, like i was at that age, I really don't think she will stop until she makes that decision on her own. A nicotine addiction is one of the hardest to overcome regardless of the age. Good luck.

    Answer by MommaKath1975 at 12:21 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Don't underestimate how addictive cigarettes are. I had my first puff at 13 and became addicted. All the kids I smokes with used to say I could quit anytime but I just don't want to. What they didn't understand is that they didn't want to BECAUSE THEY WERE ALREADY ADDICTED!
    I quit at 31 for 15 years and now I'm struggling to quit again. You need to get her on some kind of cessation and education program.

    Answer by onethentwins at 1:16 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

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