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My son is on the varsity team and had a basketball game at his high school last week. They were losing. In the stands were the parents, alumni, etc and those around me (parents of the team mostly) complained about the sad their performances were, not cheering at all, just walking around messing with classmates in the audience, etc. When it was time for half time performance they never smiled, just going through the routine as if forced, stopped before the music and just walked off. We didn't know whether to cheer or what. The complaints were so negatively against them. The parents volunteered me to speak with their captain. I wanted to anyway and when the cheerleaders went to the concession stand, I went over and introduced myself to their captain and asked was something bothering the girls; they looked so sad, are they mad the boys are losing? She said they lost the JV team so they are sad about that. I told her I was sorry but that this is varsity and they are varsity cheerleaders and their sadness is showing, the audience is making negative comments. She thought I was referring to the opponent audience until I told her, no, ours. I gave her an example of a rival team, who losses to us all the time but cheer their team as if they won the NBA championship, and reminded her that they are cheer-leaders and should cheer. The boys are losing but they are not giving up. I reminded her that I was just passing on info from the audience; thought she might want to know. She said she would talk to them. She had them in a huddle and spoke to them. After the game they glared at me as they walked out. I'm also upset with the moms who volunteered me to speak, for their post-non-support. When the girls were leaving the game, glaring at me, a mom sitting next to me said "oooh, they are going to kick your butt..." and then pointed at me saying, "she said it, not me." Another said that maybe I should not have said anything...she was the main one who said I should go because I'm active in the school. The next day, my son came home and said "Mom, the cheerleaders hate you." I will speak to the girls because I did not know they knew my son and apparently their team leader (a cheerleader who graduated 2 years ago) called me out to them but also twisted the info as if I'm the one who said all those things instead of being the one who passed on info. Today, I explained this situation to administration; they laughed and said I should have told them that they are busing out of their uniforms? I am not going to spread anymore bad news when I speak to them; What do you advise?

Answer Question

Asked by ladylovemm at 10:04 AM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 10 (411 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Let it go. That's my advice. Are you in charge of the cheerleading squad? Unless you are, I really wouldn't worry about their performance and focus more on your son's game.

    Answer by Imogine at 10:10 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Let it go. Unless you are directly involved with the squad, it's up to their coach to determine how they are performing and how to address it.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:12 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Let it go. What should have happened was to wait until the next day and call the school to complain about their lack of effort at the game. That way a teacher or someone in charge they respect would have told them about the complaints. I dont think it is the parents job to tell these girls who have raging hormones and what not to up their performance because they will take it personally, and they did. Just let it go now and dont say anything else to them. Just tell the teacher or whoever oversees them next time.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:17 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Its just high school cheer/football. Does it really matter? I think those parents set you up.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:33 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • honestly next time unless you are the coach or school officail stay out of it....if it bugged you that much you should have waited and either talked to the coach privately or the principle of the school....dealing with these girls wasnt your job and the other parents set you up big time

    Answer by cara124 at 12:12 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • banging head into wall


    Answer by sherribeare at 12:18 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I was a high school cheerleader, so from your explanation I can only imagine how much they sucked. If it were me, I'd videotape them and anonymously send them the they can see for themselves how much they suck.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 12:26 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • CARA124, I did speak to their trainer privately and keep everything confidential...the girls were no where around. She told them the complaints after they returned. I am a Booster (help with fundraisers, cheer uniforms, trips, etc) and they are representatives. I have a right to speak to their head in charge, or the girls for that matter if I need too.

    Comment by ladylovemm (original poster) at 4:25 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • forget it! there will be bad feeling sure, but thats what u get for being the bearer of 'bad news'

    Answer by san78 at 7:13 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • My daughter was in Cheer until I pulled her off the squad a month ago. I was not pleased with the cheerleaders behaviour and negative attitude. The negative vibe we received from them made our vibe be sadly as well and our teams only won 3 games out of the season. You really cant tell the girls with out really offending them. Yes when you are standing in front of you as you tell them to be more happy and positive, then when you turn from them they will talk about you and how dare you and so forth. I have learned that the REAL cheer attitude is horriable. It changed my daughter and all her new founded cheer friends. I hated pulling her from it after all the work, time and money we put into her cheer but i was thinking she was becoming a MEAN girl.

    Answer by kalynskorner at 12:04 PM on Feb. 14, 2011

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