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Is my sweety so bossy because he's in the Army and used to giving orders or because he's older than me and feels as if he's wiser?

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missShye

Asked by missShye at 10:28 AM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (49 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Probably both. Military men are typically the authoritative type as well as men older than their SO. I have guy friends who CHOOSE younger women just because they "are easier to control." To each their own!
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 10:35 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • My ex was 13 years older than me and used to tell me what to do. It was part of his personality that I didn't mind when I was 20 - I was used to my parents telling me what to do, so it didn't seem that different. However, when I got older into my mid/late 20s it was a huge problem and one that was never resolved. The best book I read on the subject was "Boundaries" by Cloud/Townsend (recommended by our marriage counselor) which helped me realize that our relationship was not healthy and not what I wanted my children to grow up thinking of as "normal"
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:37 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I think your right about it being both factors but he's not controlling just very particular and slightly OCD when it comes to certain things, I think he's just set in his ways. Besides he know he can't control me lol I have no problem speaking my mind, he's probably ready to put a muzzle on me.
    missShye

    Comment by missShye (original poster) at 10:41 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I believe it is a little bit of both. My husband is just a year older than me, and he seems to think he is wiser than me. I tell him all the time that I already have one mother, I don't need two. :) Then he tells me he is just looking out for me.
    mommy_jules

    Answer by mommy_jules at 10:42 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I once dated a guy that was 21 years older than me -- and OMG was he insecure (even though he was an attractive and wealthy man). So it could also be some insecurities creeping out of him!
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 10:47 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • my dh has been in the army for almost 6 years, although we were together for 4 yrs before he joined the Army, he is not bossy, and he is in a leadership position. I think it's just the person.
    cassie_kellison

    Answer by cassie_kellison at 10:48 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • him being insecure has crossed my mind especially since I left him when I was four months pregnant and then when he was stationed in Germany I told him I wanted to come home but that was almost four years ago and I have realized that him and our daughter are the most important things to me (other than myself of course). Thanks everyone for giving me more perspectives on this.
    missShye

    Comment by missShye (original poster) at 10:52 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Combination probably. I have the same problem. Retired Army and ten years older than me. Thinks he knows everything. Just put him in his place, tell him your not his daughter or his soldier. GL!!!
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 12:39 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • i think it is a combo of both. but i am not the one to be bossed around actually...it is impossible to boss me around.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:51 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

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