Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What in the world does he think of me?

My hubby always is very suspisious (did I spell that right?) He thinks that I sleep around, which I never have, and I feel like I am always on defensive mode, for no reason at all. Like last night we went out to dinner, and I told him that the first time we had been there, I thought we ordered a trio meal, I don't know if I am crazy or what... But he acts like I was there with someone else. I don't know what to do... Maybe its over, and I am starting to get looney from all the accusations. I swear.... I never cheated, but he makes me feel like I have... What the heck is going on???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • my husband does the EXACT same thing. i will say something like, remember when we ate at Chili's and he will be like no, must have been with another guy and I am like WTF?! I have cheated on my husband while we were dating so I know he believes once a cheater always a cheater but its hard cuz he doesnt trust me at all. He wants to look through my phone and he hacks into my computer. we are headed for divorce & i cant wait!But in your case if u have been faithfull then I would tell him if he doesnt stop accusing you of cheating then you just might!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • We have been together for 13 years.... Stay at home Mom, until recently..... I am so fed up! I may as well cheat!!! Get something out of the deal, But i am not that kind of person! Then Sunday he asks me.... Wht are you so angry? WTF does he think I am angry about???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • i gotta admit i have been known to make those crazy accusations once in a while (not regular)... you might want to consider that he may really have some serious memory problems and doesn't really remember... it is easy to become paranoid when memory is fuzzy and thinking is not clear. i'm just throwing this out there on a hunch, but does he have sleep apnea? (clue: loud snoring). i know i get a little nutso when i can't remember things. at first i thought it was others who were messing with me or didn't remember, and i get very upset when i can't remember things and people get mad at me. it is only a couple things where it was made apparent to me i really don't remember. some things i remember very clearly so it is deceptive.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 10:51 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Its because he is cheating! Im telling you, he thinks if hes doing it, you have to be doing to! Im telling you, ITS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    roxy1984

    Answer by roxy1984 at 10:51 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • my first thought was that he is cheating. it's a classic case of cheaters accusing their spouse cause they are the ones cheating and feeling guilty about it. otherwise i see no reasoning for him saying that. maybe once in a blue moon but not like you said. my husband will say things like it's your other boyfriend etc but i do the same with him. we both know that other is not cheating.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:03 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Maybe he is unsecure of himself.
    Is he alittle overweight? Whle you are looking very attractive
    Turn it around on him, ask him those questions. If you love him and don't want to leave him just run with it and let him just fester in his own little world he will be the misserable one I mean this is the way he wants it I guess. Either he needs to stop the way he is acting towards you or just ignore him.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:14 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Turning the tables works sometimes and sometimes it backfires so watch your step there. My first guess is insecurity. That's usually the problem. My ex-husband did this a lot. I never took him for a cheater but I know he was insecure. He felt he had to bring me down so that he could feel safe. That is why he is my EX-Husband. About a year or so into my relationship to my husband today he started doing this. I knew for a fact that his issues came from his mother. She's cheated on every man she's been married to and my husband was always witness to it. I laid it out for him that I'd already been through insecure jealousy once and it was not going to happen again. He either had to shape up and trust me or find himself a new girlfriend. A woman can only take so much.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 11:32 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I guess my answer is 1. Find out where it's stemming from and try to resolve it. 2. If that doesn't work you either have to live with it or get out. I don't recommend assuming he's cheating though. Just because they aren't always nice guys doesn't necessarily mean they are cheaters.
    sillyt

    Answer by sillyt at 11:34 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Usually when men start accusing us of cheating it's because they are the ones cheating and they feel guilty about it.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:41 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Hate to say it, but he is probably cheating. Just went through this with my hubby...He was always freaking out about who I was on the phone with, and if I went somewhere he would get so angry....and assume I was cheating. Last night I found out he has been cheating for 6 months...O and we have a 2 month old, so he was doing it to me while I was pregnant with his son....I dont know your hubby, but I never thought mine was capable of doing such a cruel thing....I thought wrong
    MaMa2_DJ_IJ

    Answer by MaMa2_DJ_IJ at 2:23 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.