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2 Bumps

I hate myself so so so much! adult content

In know i'm a horrible person now and I just really need someone to talk to. I feel horrible and can't stop crying. I have been married for 5 years our marrage has not been a good one he at first cheated and would go one websites saying he was single and was looking for girls in the area, I could keep going. I have been loyal and always stayed. Now we started hanging out with friends and one of the husbands likes me and I like him, we at first flirted a little then started texting and now we are crazy about eachother and we meet up but never did anything physical just talked. Yesterday he came by and right before he left he asked for a kiss I said no and he was like just a peck no making out or anything so I gave hive a quick peck. I feel like complete shit! I feel so guilty. I cannot sleep I have lost so much weight I can't stop crying. The thing is I'm not in love with my hubby anymore. But I do love him he is the father of my son and he has been good to me lately. He keeps asking me what's wrong, I just tell him that he is way better than me and he deserves better. I want to run away I hate myself so much, I really care about the guy but I have no idea what I want and this is so not fair to his wife or my husband so I have to talk to him tonight and tell him we should come clean even if we don't want to be together it's just the right thing to do. I'm so scared, I didn't want to post this cause I know that people are going to be mean but I can't keep it inside anymore or i'll go crazy, I have no one to talk to. Any advice that might help me or anything to think about, since whats done is done, now what? Thank you...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I don't see why people should bash you for being honest, these things happen.... A LOT. Instead of continuing your fling with your friend, I think you should break it off and figure out what you are going to do with your marriage. Are you going to try to fix it and move on, or end it? Try to concentrate on those things rather than getting caught up with someone else and making a bad situation worse. Chances are that you just really want some love and affection, which EVERYONE wants... it's human nature. Good Luck.
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 10:52 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • honestly, im going thru something similiar only the guy im talking to is single. and im doing it for all the same reasons, the guy fills the emotional holes that my husband no longer does. either way its wrong and we should both come clean. you feel bad because you have a conscience and thats good. but best to end it now before it does become physical and you end up hating yourself even more. plus think of his wife, she will feel the same way you did when you found out your husband cheated. you realized your mistakes, now its up to you to rectify them. if you want to stay with your husband, i suggest total honesty about the affair and definite counseling. i hope it all works out ((((HUGS)))))
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • telling the husband you like and fell for to come clean might not be the right thing to do. Telling the husband you fell for to either break it off with you or begin a relatationship with you is probably a better choice. there's too much drama and too much to risk if your not planning to be together and still coming clean.

    If your having issues with your own husband, you need to do whats right for your own sake and not dragging people in with you that may put them at risk too.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 10:52 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Oh and onestly there is no reason to tell your husband, it will only make thinks WAY more complicated. But I agree you def should break it off with the other man. If he loved you he will love you still after you figure out your life
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:54 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I dont think you should spill the beans seeing as you havent had sex. BUT you should stop texting and seeing the other man. think about how you flet when you found out your husband was cheating why would you want to cause that same pain to another person. AND FYI your husband isnt better than you he cheated as well. You may want to get a diary or journal or soemthing and write your feelings out since you have no one to talk to and you dont want to be a nervous wreck all the time. I wish you the best.
    jazmya_mom

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 11:00 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • makes ya wonder if the other guy has cheated on his wife before
    you may not be the 1st he took too far with
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • ok... breathe!!!!
    I cheated on my ex when he was beating me. It was my way of getting "revenge" and it just felt so good to be wanted by another man, to feel special. But that being said hun, you are both married and even if you two did get together, what makes you think he isn't going to cheat on you? You obviously haven't forgiven your husband (which is understandable) but your situation can get very messy, very fast. I think you and your husband need to take a break and you need to just focus on you and you child. You need to let those wounds heal and decide if you want to try to fix your marriage or not. I wish you the best of luck and if you need a friend I am here. You can message me or whatever
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:52 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • you already know what you did is wrong so no point saying it. what i do wanna say though is that he's NOT better than you, because he deliberately went out looking for other women and lying about being single. it's not the same thing. you might've messed up but he's still an ass. and yes i'd come clean. it's not fair to either one of you and you're obviously not happy with him
    Mrs.L.Mita

    Answer by Mrs.L.Mita at 10:52 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I keep thinking about his wife cause I know her, so it makes me feel worse. I don't know if I want to stay with him or not but either way he should know. It's bigger than that though, in my religon if u mess up u have to confess then there are consequinces, so I have to do that I go to the church with him and his wife so I will still have to c them and if I get in big trouble, which I could means none of my firends can talk to me anymore so I'll be so alone. Also I work with a girl that goes to my church and if I can't tlak to her then it messes up the work enviroment and I'll get let go. I so screwed myself over!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:55 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • You answered your own question. Whats done is done. You need to tell him and you both move on. Your husband on the other hand is not an angel. It could be that you can not forgive him for what he has done in the past. I think you know in your heart there is nothing there. You know you made a mistake and you are right this mans wife does not deserve this. You need to end this. I wish you luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Feb. 9, 2011

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