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If your child(ren) were a "surprise"....

will you tell them this when they ask about their conception? Or will you tell them that you and your SO planned their conception?

DH and I recently had this discussion and I was wondering how other moms felt about this topic. I'll withhold our decision for a while. I don't want to discourage the "other group" from offering their input. Thanks for your time. -Mona

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sgalsmommy

Asked by sgalsmommy at 10:43 AM on Nov. 17, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • I think I will tell them that they were concieved out of love because that is what happend accedent or not. I will leave it at that
    perksmom

    Answer by perksmom at 10:58 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I didn't know it had to be discussed. I've never once asked my mom how or where I was concieved. My kids know you have sex to make a baby(well, my 10, 8 and 7 year olds, not my 5 year old yet) so it's obvious that I had to be with their father and we must have been having sex.
    Pauline3283

    Answer by Pauline3283 at 11:01 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Pauline3283, nothing "has" to be discussed. But a lot of children eventually ask about their conception, so I was wondering how you would handle it--or if you would handle it at all. I just wanted to clarify that I'm not really asking about the "how" or "where" concerning conception .... this question has to do more with whether or not it was planned. Personally, when I asked my parents about my conception, I didn't want to know the specifics regarding how or where my parents conceived me; I was just curious as to whether or not they planned the pregnancy, and I think at some point in time, most kids want to know the same. So, my question is addressing this hypothetical situation.
    sgalsmommy

    Answer by sgalsmommy at 11:15 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • My daughter, fully planned, once remarked that I was pregnant when I married her father. I asked where she got that idea. She said my anniversary was in June and she was born in January. I said, "My wedding was in 1978 and you were born in 1983."

    They'll sometimes assume whatever they want.
    divinity80921

    Answer by divinity80921 at 11:43 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I'm going to tell mine, mainly for the fact that we were not married and I don't want him to think it's ok to plan a baby before you get married. I will never use the word accident though. I think that would hurt his feelings. He was a supprise, and the best one I've ever gotten and that is exactly what I will tell him.
    Sammieanne

    Answer by Sammieanne at 12:39 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I'm honest with my kids so if they ever ask I will tell them.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:43 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • My son will figure it out on his own one day.I was 2 months preggo when we got married.So one day on his birthday, he will do the math.If he ask then after he does the math.I'll tell him the truth about it.but I won't volunteer the info to him.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:59 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I was 16 and unmarried when I got pg w/ dd#1; was 8 months pregnant W/ dd#2 when I married my first husband (at 18) and 8 months pregnant with dd#4 when I married my current husband. I THINK they will be able to figure out that they were surprises.

    dd#3 was also a surprise :-)
    Mamitamaria

    Answer by Mamitamaria at 11:09 AM on Jan. 8, 2009

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