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2 Bumps

Daycare kid hates me.

I've been watching this little boy who is 2 1/2 yrs old for a little over 3months. I watch him and his younger brother who just turned 10 months old. I have 2 of my own that stay that are here during the day. My son is 4 and my DD is almost 2.

So the 2 1/2 yr old hates me. He won't talk to me. He acts really scared of me. I don't yell. I use love and logic. So no physical discipline. But if you are familiar with love and logic there is an element of trying to get the child to think for themselves. It is getting worse because he won't eat now for me either. Help! I don't know what to do. I've tried doing special activities that his mom says he likes and making special lunches and snacks for him... Nadda. The baby loves it here but he doesn't :(

Answer Question
 
momof2cuteboys

Asked by momof2cuteboys at 1:15 PM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 12 (853 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • It sounds like he might be scared you are trying to take the place of his mother, which you can't. I would suggest asking him what he wants to do and try to build a relationship with him that is different from his mom's relationship. Also, you might want to talk to her and see what she suggests
    MChildressDem

    Answer by MChildressDem at 1:19 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • This might be a long shot..but maybe it could work? Can you set up some playdates with you and your kids with his mother and her kids..all of you go do things together.Maybe if he sees you and his mother interacting well in a friendship he will warm up to you too. Maybe even try planning to do things that he really enjoys...a playland or trip to the library together or swimming togethe rat the rec center..lunch..zoo,museum..idk something like that.
    Good Luck!
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:30 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • does he understand that he's not going to stay there? I went through something like this with my niece. when her parents left to go out, she didn't understand that they were coming back. So we started the 'come back game' where I would take a doll have it go away, have the doll assure the little doll that they would come back.
    then we'd make a big fuss when they did.

    I'd talk to the mom, sounds like maybe the kid needs some reassurance.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • @ kimberly.. I have gone out with them to things in our community. They just moved to town so I wanted to get her out and make some friends. He does really good when we are all together. Still doesn't talk to me a lot. I know he can talk I hear him ask my oldest DS questions when he gets home. LOL

    @anonymous... I wondered that myself. He does get upset when she walks out but then as soon as the truck is gone he goes and plays. So it isn't like he is crying for her to come back... I'm going to try that game though. I just want this little guy to feel comfortable with me. I would hate if my kids ever was in that position. :(
    momof2cuteboys

    Comment by momof2cuteboys (original poster) at 1:35 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • He'll come around. It takes a while. Just keep him happy.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 1:44 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

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