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I'm a housewife-how to balance being a good wife and having fun

due to many health reasons I don't work outside the home.
(side note before I'm asked: I am a mom in the sense that my babies are all angel babies and looking into being a foster mom, this all brought me here)

anyway, this obviously gives me more free time then my husband has. So on occasion I get chances to go places and do things that he isn't available for.
It's not that often, things like my reunion, the occasional chance to go somewhere for a weekend with a friend, etc.
I've been told from a medical standpoint that I need to have more of a social life and enjoy more recreation.
My husband and I are having some troubles because he gets caught up in the whole 'it's not fair' sort of thing. Meaning I can go, and he can't because he works outside the home and I don't.
I totally understand his viewpoint, but let's face it life isn't fair. It's also not fair that I have these medical challenges either.
I certainly don't tell him he can't do fun things, I in fact wanted to try and go to see his parents for thanksgiving, but he didn't want to spend the time and money. We aren't rich, but we can afford these things occasionally.
It's like he doesn't want to go and do things fun, so I shouldn't either.

So there's a up and coming fun thing where he could probably go as well, but he's taking the attitude
'I don't want to go, so you shouldn't either.'

any advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • There's a compromise there, but it's something you two need to work out together. I'm going to guess that he's resentful because he has to work and you don't - regardless of the reason.

    Answer by Scuba at 2:43 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I understand why he's not happy about it, but these are all things I need to do for myself to be in better health.

    I'm about ready to just go on these trips and such since I'm not doing either one of us any favors by just sitting at home

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:48 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • just be honest with that you want to have fun & want to go out with him but if he doesnt that you shouldnt stop your fun cause he dont want to go im sorry mama i hope everything works out for you

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 2:54 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • How is doing fun things going to help you be in better health? Just wondering.

    Answer by Lisa_Lynn at 3:33 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • well lisa lynn, there are medical issues and issues with PTSD.
    I have a tendency to want to stay home, but I need to be getting out.

    either way, getting out and getting fresh air, living a well rounded life helps a great deal with medical issues too.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:56 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Just wondering thats all, never meant any harm in asking. You learn something new everyday. Yes getting fresh air is important.

    Answer by Lisa_Lynn at 7:14 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I stay home as well, and my dh has to work two weekends a month so I find myself doing things without him sometimes. I miss him when he's not with us, but he understands that he has to work and I am able to do things he can't. Your dh needs to realize that you can't put your life on pause just because he has to work. Would he prefer you waste away in your home, doing nothing? Now I'm not going on vacation or anything, and he can do things on his time off. Sometimes with us, sometimes without. I think it's a maturity issue on his part really. I don't think you'll change his mind until he grows up a little.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:31 PM on Feb. 13, 2011

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