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Is it inappropriate? Sometimes? All the time? Rarely? Never?

Okay, so I know that this is about a silly thing to feel conflicted about - but every time I see it or hear it -- for just a split second my mind goes "ew, don't do that" ... When I hear a man/woman (WHO IS MARRIED or otherwise committed) call another person by a term of endearment (honey, darling, sugar, babe etc) -- it just don't sit well with me.

If a man calls me something like that, I set him straight right that second, Diplomatically of course, never rude. And I never use terms of endearment with any man other than my husband (my sons and brothers/sisters are the only exception), Especially someone elses husband/ wife/SO.

Like I said, I know it's not *that big of a deal cause people just sometimes have a habit of calling everybody some term of endearment. But it just seems inappropriate to me almost all the time. 

Tho I never say anything to anyone about it unless they are talking directly to me (or my husband) - Like one time I corrected a waitress for calling my husband "Babe" while I was sitting right there BUT at the same time she kept calling his friend, who was with us "Sir".  How she was doing it was not acceptable because she was showing preference to my husband right in my face.

  Is there something that just sticks in your craw for ?

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ShelbyShareAlot

Asked by ShelbyShareAlot at 3:46 PM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,281 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Ew, yeah, that waitress was completely out of line.

    I think it really depends on the situation. DH and I reserve "babe" only for each other - it's really the only term we use for each other, so we never use it with anyone else. But I don't have a problem with a friend calling me "honey", "sugar", etc because they're usually just being silly. When it's a complete stranger, it really depends on the situation and context! It can come across as really patronizing and irritate me to no end!
    aliceryannesmom

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 3:50 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I've never been one to use very many squishy names like that at all, so it ALWAYS bugs me when anyone other than my husband uses one on me, or when anyone else uses one on him.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 3:53 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • FTR hope y'all realize I mean that married men shouldn't be calling a woman who isn't his wife "Darling" and married women shouldn't be calling a man who isn't their husband "babe" OR a single man shouldn't call another mans wife "sugar" and a single woman shouldn't call another woman's man "Darling". Not really talking about BFFs calling each other terms of endearment --- course I would probably sh!t and fall back in it if I heard DH's BFF call him "babe". LOL
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Comment by ShelbyShareAlot (original poster) at 3:54 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Where I'm from almost all women refer to everyone as hun/suger/babe/darlin/dear. Heck most men do too.

    It might just be a regional thing.
    lstrickland

    Answer by lstrickland at 3:56 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Well, I think it's inappropriate some of the time, but not all of the time. For instance, what about an older, very matronly waitress? i would not take offense if she called my husband "honey" or "sweetie". I call "judgement" on this one, because if it makes your belly curdle, then it's probably inappropriate (like YOUR waitress....not sure I would have been diplomatic on that one!)
    DMac08

    Answer by DMac08 at 3:57 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • i personally dont like all the names either babe etc i dont like it
    cnoble927

    Answer by cnoble927 at 4:02 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Yeah, DMac, I agree on the matronly waitress part. And I agree on the judgement part too -- a lot of the inappropriateness comes from the person's tone and how/when they choose to use a term of endearment I guess.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Comment by ShelbyShareAlot (original poster) at 4:15 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • It has never bothered me. I am a waitress and will not call some married man dear or hun. And only because it just isnt me. If someone called dh that then let him get a rise out of it lol. I am secure and have not threat with it. I know tons of ppl that use those terms for anyone. Men and women. Its just them and means nothing. If you dont like it then def correct if needed. That is your right and about your comfort. But try not to take it too personal.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:18 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • And.....Id be more bothered if this randon waitress was calling dh by his name lol
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 4:19 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I'm a big-time user of terms of endearment. Was the way I grew up. My friends like it when I call them dear or love, I call my DH's friends honey sometimes too. It's just who I'am and noone takes it offensively around me, or at least they haven't voiced it...
    JusaLady

    Answer by JusaLady at 4:19 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

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