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my husband makes excuses for our lack of sex and intimacy, should i stray?

we are new parents, when i was preg we didnt have sex be cause he was scared but he was kind and intimate. as soon as i was`able to physically have sex again i was ready and it still took a while for him. now i complain weekly that we barely make love or kiss , hug etc. the more he kisses and plays with our child i want him . hes a great dad and it turns me on more. he says hes satisfied with out always having sex because he loves the baby and hes fulfilled. this is another excuse, first i needed to heal, then hes tired and emotionally drained trying to make money . if he wasnt such a horn dog b4 i would be lieve him he was ordering porn when i was preg and that hurt , he apologized and did it again , i dont believe him should i stray?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would talk to him more about it and see what he feels about it. Its not fair to you that he makes excuses and then turns around and orders porn! That would upset me too. Do you think he's cheating? I would def put your issues on the table and work something out or maybe you will be happier without him. GL
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 11:33 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Im going threw the same exact thing except im still pregnant and will be for 6 more months. It's frustrating because im even more horny now that i am preggo. This sucks!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • if you love him, you won't stray. if he loves you, he'll make you happy(sexually and otherwise).did you guys know each other enough before you got married, or did you marry because you were preg? (not judging, but people do tend to rush into marriage because of pregnancy, without really knowing each other, then things come up and it surprises them.) perhaps you should get a babysitter, have a date like you would before the pregnancy, and get him in the mood with whatever worked before. do you really want to throw away a good daddy/husband/provider just to have sex with someone you don't love? if he's worth keeping, he's worth working on. financial stress can do a lot to the libido, and sometimes men look at their wives differently after they've become a mother.(mine didn't, he's still a horndog--and i'm not)
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 11:58 AM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • No you should not stray. You need to talk to your husband about what's going on, but do not cheat!
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 12:11 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • No! Do not stray that will not help only a sexual satisfaction for the moment.
    But then later it will not be right you have a child and stick together for the child I mean there is lots of love there so don't do anything to ruin it. Just keep working on it.
    Give him time to adjust alot of men don't want to have sex while the wife is pregnant but now he is probably just wanting to take it slow (for only God knows why) maybe he does not want to get u pregnant again. Could he be gay in his own way?
    Try to surprise him and do stuff you never done before he would not be able to help himself...lol
    Just enjoy the moment for now and then attack him!!!
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:16 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • NO...do not stray. that's not the answer. Some men have what they call a "Madonna complex:...now that you are a mother, he may be having trouble seeing you as a sexual being.

    Counselling.....that's the answer.
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 12:34 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Take this problem to counseling. There is something he is not telling you. I would not recommend straying, but you need to put your foot down. He's got to give you some!!!
    charisma10

    Answer by charisma10 at 1:10 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • No way! Some day that table might turn would you want him to stray?

    Think of what you are really saying......Stick it out! He probably is stressed and maybe afraid of you getting pregnant again. It will work it self out ....nagging only makes it worst ...pull back ....let him think why is she not talking about this situation any more...
    getyoung

    Answer by getyoung at 6:56 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

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