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Is it wrong to ask for DNA?

my husband has three other children by 3 different women none of them resemble him in any way and one might not be his he was claimed daddy by default is it wrong to ask for confirmation on all three children? the family genes cause the children to resemble their fathers mine definitly does and it shows in all of his neices and nephews no matter the gender or race they all look like their fathers.

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rachelskinner

Asked by rachelskinner at 3:34 AM on Jul. 8, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • I have been there too but with only one child & we were pretty confident that she did belong to my husband. She is his from a short fling while we were separated proven by DNA. The only advice I can give you is that from experience it is better for the kids on a psychological level I think if DNA is proven. My husbands family constantly denied that she might be his and believe it or not they still do after 99.9% DNA. Unfortunately the kids tend to get the most slack when things aren't proven especially if there are raging emotions between the adults involved. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I would say think of the kids how old are they do they have a close relation ship with him. Weather they are his kids or not if he is the father figure to them they need a father. I would probley have the dna test but not take the children out of your lives if it is that they are not his kids. They are kids they do not need to be hurt if it can be avoided.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • Well, you picked him.........if he asks that is ok, but it is not up to you. Kids don't have to look like either parent because there are so many factors that make each person, a person. You are assuming these other women, before you are lying. This should be btw him and them. Is he on the birth certificates? It may be hard, but he had a life before you and some kids too. It is not your business exactly to ask for DNA. but he could. I'd be very offeneded and probably not receptive if you asked me, and it was about him. I'm sorry, but the 3 kids from 3 women would have kept me away easily. The track record there is not to rosey.
    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 8:31 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • If they are not your kids, then you should stay out of it. Don't take a dad from a child, that's selfish. He is obviously comfortable with being a dad, leave it alone.
    Queentdi

    Answer by Queentdi at 8:56 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • There is nothing wrong with asking for DNA if you doubt who's the father of the children. It is a bit of a slap in the face if the women in question truly weren't sleeping with anyone else. But if they have questionable reputations it sounds legit.
    amethystrse

    Answer by amethystrse at 9:37 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • along with the title "daddy" comes 18 years of child support obligation. I would definitely seek confirmation if there is any doubt. However, if he signed acknowledgment affidavits or birth certificates, some states will be very unwilling to relieve him of the responsibility that he voluntarily undertook. Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I don't think it's too much to ask but remember that the DNA test is about $500 or more for each swab. If that doesn't matter then I'd go for it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:02 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • He is your husband by law you share everything including step children! you have evry right to ask! and if the mother gets offended then i feel she has something to hide! cause if there was any doubt with my kids i would want to know and have it in writing! Good luck!
    lsap667

    Answer by lsap667 at 3:11 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • I agree with lsap667. If you are bound legally to him you will be bound legally to his financial responsibilities. I disagree with the post by admckenzie that the test is $500 per swab. I had a DNA test done recently for $99 which was good for 2 people, my husband and one of my children. (www.gfilab.com, I think) He may need some encouragement from you to approach these other moms but I think he has the right to know the truth and the other moms should also want the truth to be know for the sake of their children.
    casnooky

    Answer by casnooky at 1:56 PM on Aug. 26, 2008

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