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has any1 became an instant parent of a tween?

i need advice on how 2 adjust with the situation. i have a 9yr old but now i have custody of my 10yr old God daughter. she's a wonderful child but the attitude iz driving me crazy

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Asked by ladymo at 11:29 AM on Nov. 17, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (8)
  • It's the hormones because our 9 year old dd is going through the same thing. She has the mouthiness and "I can do what I want when I want" attitude. I started by calling her pediatrician thinking that something else was going on or may have happened that I didn't know about and that she was uncomfortable talking to us about. Once we told him what was going on and how she was acting, he told us it was the hormones of "pre-puberty" and that we basically have to let it run it's course.  GL!


    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:18 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • Why do you have custody? You have to try to put yourself in her shoes. For whatever reason she's been ripped from the only place she knows as home and put with you. Hang out with her, earn her trust. And pour as much love onto this girl as possible.

    Answer by feesharose at 1:39 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I'd use the "my house , my rules" talk with her.I tell my kids when they pay their own bills and live in their own house, they can make their own rules.

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:40 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I agree with evelynwest. Still let her be herself, though. Let her have a little attitude, as long as its in good fun. Maybe joke with her about it and teach her direct it in the right direction. At the end of the day, don't let her disrespect you and make her follow the rules!

    Answer by drowninginboys at 2:35 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • my husband had to instant teens, 13 and 16 and it's been quite easy for him to come and take charge. my kids understood that even though he is no their father that he was going to be the new man of the house and he would be listened too. i would say that you treat her just like you would your own child. no rules is different cause of the situation. she should obey them just like yours would. your probably just dealing with a difficult child that needs some counseling if she can't respect you or the rules. my husband doesn't have any children of his own so he really has his full but he has been a natural parent from the very beginning.

    Answer by melody77 at 3:01 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I have a 10yr old an living with a man with a 10yr old.They both have it.Temper.fighting.telling on one another.Lies,excusses,honey if you ever want to chat just contact me at

    Answer by fearful5 at 3:19 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I have not become the parent of one, but was the child in a that sort of situation. I came back into my biological dad's life at 15 (yes I know older than a tween, but I think it still applies) after being adopted by a step parent for nearly 8 years. He and my step mom tried to be like friends to me at first, which was just weird, and then they went to super over parenting at times. I know it's got to be hard to start at that age, but my advice would be to make sure they know they can trust you to talk about whatever they need to talk about, set clear boundries, and provide as much of a stable living situation at you can. Flip-flopping on rules and attitudes just confuses and frustrates tweens and teens.

    Answer by kicknscreamn222 at 3:55 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

  • I became the instant parent to a 12 year old amd a 15 year old . Both girls. The 12 year old is driving me CRAZY! Attitude is putting it mildly. Total disrespect, lies, theft and sneakiness. Maybe someone with a dgree specializing in adolescents can help. That's the route I'm exploring now.

    Answer by TheNeverLady at 5:23 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

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