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5 Bumps

I just don't know what to do anymore...

My husband is always a grouch and I guess over the last 6 years I just learned to live with it ...but tonight I just dont know what to do anymore.

For the last 2 weeks I have had bad back and pelvic pain, then yesterday i woke up so dizzy that I could barely stand... I made it through the day and planned on going to the ER when he got home from work ( so he could drive me there and I could have my grandma watch the kids) ... of course he gets home and is mad that I didnt clean and then I tell him about how awful I feel, and he refuses to take me to the ER because " he will be to tired for work the following day" -- keeping in mind this was barely 5pm and he doesnt have to leave for work until 7:30 the next day ( he doesnt even go to bed until 11) ....I was so mad but at that point I was feeling better ...

So today when i got up the dizziness returned so I called and made an appt. at the local Drs. ...

My mom got off work early and she takes me ( my grandma watches the kids) ... we are waiting for the dr and he texts my mom ( I dont have my own cell ) and asks " why the hell I didnt call him" I tel her to write back because he doesnt get service there and I was going to be home before he gets home anyways... He then goes on saying he has "shit to do" so my mom texts him back to tell him the kids and i will just go stay at her house and he replies " well tell that lazy ass she should have went earlier, now I have to get the kids supper, she needs to get her priorities straight" ..... My mom was so mas she could barely talk ..I was mad, hurt and embarrassed ( that he would say those things about me to my MOM ) ....

I come home and he still mad, I ignore him and then take the kids to bed... i wait until he goes to bed and then I get up so I can clean ( I have to go get more tests and ultrasounds done tomorrow and wont beable to clean that much then) and after I am done I am still too upset to go to bed so I try to get on the computer, and he changed the password... I storm in and make him tell it to me and he says I dont even need to be on the computer, and I can forget about getting one for myself ( I had my own computer, that his friend broke a few weeks ago, so with our income taxes I was going to get one ) .... I am just sooo furious and I just dont know what to do ( if my kids and I do go to my moms, it could only be for a couple days, I have no money to myself, no job, I just do not know what to do )

Oh and not to mention he didnt even ask what I found out at the Dr -- I have a bad infection and a tennis ball cyst on my ovary that they want to surgically remove....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 PM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • He sounds like a selfish dick.

    Answer by Saya at 11:06 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Have you ever just totally lost it with him, like holding a list of paper with all his nasty, disrespectful offenses and rattled them off? Seriously, talk to your Mom, a friend whomever, but he sounds just about unbearable. Tell him you'll divorce him, take half his income in child support and half of any assets so he can f*ck himself. THAT is what I'd do and then DO it. Good luck. I wanna punch him for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • *shaking my head* I hope you will be ok! Sometimes life is just not fair! So sorry you have to go through this! Thank goodness for family like your Mom and Gran!

    Answer by JusaLady at 11:09 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Sounds like a jerk and why you are with him is beyond me. Sounds kinda like my ex, he didnt care what happened to me as long as he had his "maid" and "robot sex partner." I don't know what to tell you do than leave or kick him out, he can be made to pay support and alimony. So why not? You have no money?? Do you both not have the same bank account??? Get some of that money and go get a lawyer, most will consult with a "mom" for free and you can find out your options without having him to know about it. You really have a lot to think about and I would really want to know if I would want my kids in the same house with that.

    Answer by AmI88 at 11:14 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I'm real sorry. Sounds like you need to leave. The disrespect towards you and your mother? That alone is all bad, but controlling via the internet- my psychotic ex used to do that. He's in jail now b/c eventually it got physical. Are there are any other family members or friends that can help you out? If you decided to leave him, they may be more inclined to help. Wish you the best of luck.

    Answer by lexi8622 at 11:18 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • You poor thing. You don't deserve to be treated like that. I think you need to set him straight and let him know you're not going to stand for that treatment anymore. If it were me personally, I'd leave him if he persisted. He is being as far from supportive as a husband can be, and I'd let him know just that. I truly wish you the best, hon, and hope you're feeling better soon!

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 11:18 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I'd tell him to go fuck himself!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:27 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I actually changed teh password to say f*ckyouasshole ... so hopefully he gets the message...

    we get our income taxes this weekend and I know I will have a chance to withdrawl some of it and then the kids and I will be going to my moms.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:30 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • You are responsible for allowing this in you and your childrens' lives. It's called verbal abuse and it sounds like he is used to treating you like a doormat. You have to realize that you can only change what you do and not who he is. The problem is not in him, yet in your tolerance and acceptance of living this way. If you want things to change you will have to make it happen. We are powerless over changing others.
    I know it is scary and he has probably beat you down so much that you think you can't live without him. The fact is you can do better, even if you become a single parent, atleast the kids won't have to grow up in an abusive household.
    Chin up and find your backbone !!! Hugs :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 11:33 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • I know it's easier said than done, but I think it's time to say bye to your marriage. Just get your kids, whatever stuff is yours, and go to your mother's or grandmother's. It's going to be hard, and right now, you may have no money, but you need to leave. There's a difference between being in a bad mood and being an asshole to the core. You have to make a decision. Either sit there and ask other people what to do, or make something happen. You know what you need to do. Do whatever you have to in order to leave and take care of your kids. Even if it means working nights at the convenience store and getting little sleep just so you can have money, then do it. Your mom saw for herself who he is. She should be begging you to get away from him and come stay with her. I really hope things work out for you. You have a ton of ladies on here who are always willing to listen and give advice. Good luck.

    Answer by jalvarez626 at 11:38 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

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