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5 Bumps

He is not as attracted to me with the pregnancy weight, what would you do?

I told my boyfriend we were not spending as much quality time as we use to. He said he had to admit that since we got pregnant, (things did not work out with the pregnancy) that he was not attracted to me because the extra weigh and new acne.
(I absolutely could not believe it!)
I went from 118lbs up too 138! but I have stiltedly been loosing it and I am now about 130.
My skin is clearing up but obviously not something I can control.
Ok I am soooo hurt and he told me he did not mean it that way and he thought we were at the point of being totally honest with each other.
What would you do?


Asked by sierramagic at 11:30 PM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 9 (304 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Your last response was right on the money!

    While most of us are originally attracted to someone physically, it becomes SO much more when you TRULY love someone! I have been married almost 29 years. I have lost & gained the same 20 lbs. over the course of our marriage. He too, has gained & lost some. Neither one of us are as pretty or as handsome as we once were, BUT we love each other even more than we ever did! It is cruel for him to place looks over what's inside of you! That is SO shallow! You might seriously rethink the type of person you're with! While we should all try to keep our weight and appearance at optimum level, you should not be having to worry about every lb. or every zit you gain! He will not always be as handsome as he is now. Best wishes to you. Beauty is only skin deep!

    Answer by etexmom at 1:13 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • blank staregive him a punch


    Answer by A11 at 11:43 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • my ex husband actually cheated on me when i was in my third trimester and told me about it after our daughter was born when she was less than a week old and i was visiting family, he called and told me that he was not attracted to me anymore b/c of all the weight i had gained and that he was messing with his sister in laws, future sister in law, if that makes sense. it was hurt by it but ya know what, you gained that weight from a pregnancy with his child, he can support you whil eyou transition back

    Answer by huntin_mama at 11:49 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Thats awful! I dont think hes worth you time because Im tell you right now once you do bear one of his children to full term and deliver, you will probably never be 118 again! Not saying it isnt possible but its unlikely.


    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 12:21 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Mousuke I don't know that I am angry I think I am more sad.
    I guess you and him are right that he was being honest and it is a god thing that he can tell me anything but it still really hurt my feelings.
    Now I don't feel comfortable at all in my own skin or home any more. I have been putting on makeup after showers until he is asleep just so he wont have to see these zits.
    Him saying his has hurt my self esteem I am so saddened that he can't look past the few pounds and still enjoy being with me.
    Thanks for the perspective

    Comment by sierramagic (original poster) at 11:53 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • huntin_mama wow that must have been so hard to get through. Are you glad he told you? How did you guys get through you are a strong one.
    So that pregnancy did not work out for us so what happens when one dose and I get even bigger? Will he actually cheat... all this gives me something to think about.

    Comment by sierramagic (original poster) at 11:58 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • kiansmom0423 , thanks for the support. I am in my early 's and I have always been small so I think I will probably be able to get back to that weight but that is not the point to me. The acne is making him unattractid to me, what if something happens to my face and I don't look like I do now? Will he never feel attracted to me. I am very hurt by this. I agree with you this is awful! errr I am not happy about it.

    Comment by sierramagic (original poster) at 12:32 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I agree w/ etexmom.. If a person truely loves u.. Then he loves u regardless. U shouldnt let anyone kill ur self esteem for their own selfish reasons. To me thats a form of emotional abuse & okay. Say u loose all the weight & clear up ur acne.. Than what will it b next?? Do u really want to b with sm1 that shallow.. U need sm1 that wll lift ur spirits & love u unconditionally. Not sm1 whose selfish & inconsiderate as him. U bared HIS child 4 goodness sake & thats beauty within it self

    Answer by tiamesmer at 2:15 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • etexmom I wanted to send you a message but I can't figure it out! So The man I am with it amazing! He has never been like this or said something so insensitive. I think hat more is going on and that he said it was "weight" when it is something else. (maybe that pregnancy not working out for us?) Because this is so not like him. I just need to figure what is is out and maybe he still needs to figure it out as well. I mean a few zits when your in love should not matter.

    Comment by sierramagic (original poster) at 2:17 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • tiamesmer I absolutely agree with you but this is very out or charter for him. I guess that is why I am so shocked, did you see what I just posted to etemom? What do you think about that? Do you think it could be something else and he said my physical changes were bothering him so he didn't have to deal with the truth? What ever that is? Honestly he has never been anything less that amazing too me so this is very...I don't even know the words, unusual

    Comment by sierramagic (original poster) at 2:22 AM on Feb. 10, 2011