Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How do you let your child go out on there own when that time comes?

My oldest son is soon to leave my house to go out into the world, I am so use to being a mom and being available to my kids. now it is time to shift gears.

Answer Question

Asked by chemwife at 11:37 PM on Feb. 9, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Just because he's out of the home doesn't mean you cease to be a mom.. You're still a mom, just the mom to an adult. It's no different from becoming mom to a teen after having a child. It takes a while to get used to, but you more than manage.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:39 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • this will be the hardest thing for me.

    Answer by letstalk747 at 11:41 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • This WAS the hardest thing I've ever experienced! He joined the Air Force about 6 months after he graduated, almost 5 years ago, he's still in. I cried forever, lol Now his 6yrs will be up in 1 year and he's planning on getting out and I can't wait, buttttt, I'm so used to living our new lifestyle that I'm really hoping his goal is to get an apt. close by. So you see it gets easier as time goes on but like Sabrina said we'll ALWAYS be mom :)

    Answer by Kathy675 at 11:51 PM on Feb. 9, 2011

  • Just make sure they have a place to go and help them get set up. My kids knew how to call and ask if they needed help but they transitioned well.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:30 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • My daughter is going to be moving out in less than two weeks. So I know how you feel. She's my first child to leave home, although I will still have two still here. My daughter will be 23 this year. My oldest son will be 18 in two months. It's going to be a change and I know it. I keep telling myself to remember to tell her that if she needs me, that I will be there for her, even if it's just to talk. Your children will still be your children no matter how old they get. We have to let them be their own person and let them make there own mistakes. I know I have made some in my life and it's how they learn to live in this world. Too bad they don't stay little forever.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:09 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I will ALWAYS be here for my kids, and they can come home when they need to as long as they are helping themselves. I hope to prepair them better for the world then my parents did.
    I dont even want to think that I will have to watch my first one leave in 7-8 years. He says 6 because he wants to join up when hes 17. :(

    Answer by Luckybear05 at 1:25 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • You will always be a mother. You just go from conversations across the table to conversations on the phone. If your child lives in town, you have family dinners once a week. You just change your usual family traditions, but you still have traditions. Holidays, weekends, etc. I LOVE having adult children. I LOVE how my relationship with my children has evolved and matured.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:30 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • It has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done! but you will be entering a new phase in your life , one that is not necessarily bad if you have good bonding with them, they never go to far from home.

    Answer by older at 7:43 AM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • It is a tough transition. I wish you both well.

    Answer by tasches at 5:49 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • Now its time for you dear,do those things you always wanted to do.I am feeling the loss of my three gone and they have been gone for years now,I still miss them something terrible.I remember working full time 3 kids cooking ,cleaning getting to all the practices ,games .And now its just me and dh.I never thought i would be missing that so much.They don't call as often as i would like but they are living life,and are doing very well so i feel i did something right.You have too.You should be proud of yourself and smile and wave to them as they leave.And know that they know they always have you.Why do they have to get so adult on us??I know its hard but you will find it gets easier.Do i sound like a big old baby or what?Lord i miss mine too.But they will never realize how hard it is to let go,until they go through it themselves.Be proud,you did a great job.

    Answer by grismelda at 11:50 AM on Feb. 12, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.