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4 yr old not listening!

My almost 4 yr old is NOT listening to me at all. Life is very stressful right now and I need him to start listening to me. For instance he constantly rubs my face knowing I don't like it. I'll ask him to stop and take his hand off my face. What does he do? go back to rubbing my face. Now I am not anti-touch. But I don't like him rubbing my face or neck, and he does it anyways even after I've asked him not to and I'll even suggest he do something else(lay his head on my chest, rub my arm even, but stop touching my face). He won't eat at meals, and then 10 minutes later says hes hungry. well tonight it was late and he didn't eat dinner, but he ate some graham crackers and hte SECOND my MIL gets home he tells her he's hungry. I told him too bad, he should've eaten dinner, now he'll just have ot go to bed and get on his tube feed(he has a feeding tube). What does MIL do? fix him a plate of turkey of cheese! Yeah thanks a LOT! Then when he was done eating he wanted to play on the computer and I said no it was time for bed, get in bed. I happened to be sitting in the computer chair(but it wasn't on) and the second I got out to get in bed he trys to get in the chair and grab the mouse. I told him "I said no, get in bed" and physically picked him up and put him in the bed, and he immediately makes for the computer again. It's like this EVERY day! And my husband is not helpful at ALL. He worked all day today, came home and immediately got in bed and told me I was being mean. I wanted to slap him! My girls are sick and whinny, I just found out our tax money that I was planning on using to fix our van got taken to pay a bill we owe on, and I just REALLY need my son to start cooperating. I know he's testing his boundaries, but he's pushing too far.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (9)
  • sorry momma I think you might be stressed with what all is going on in your life and have a short fuse right now...i get that way all of the time especially if I do not take my antidepressant. My kids don't listen all that well i either but they really can't stand timeouts so that is what i do...sorry im not much help but feel free to pm me if u just need someone to listen....maybe when you get overwhelmed walk outside and take a breather...you definately need to have a talk with your DH
    suhweetness

    Answer by suhweetness at 1:00 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • First off. Your MIL was right. You don't tell a 3 year old too bad and go hungry. Sounds like you are overwhelmed and need a time out. It's ok we all do here and there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • NO my MIL was NOT right to undermine my authority. I clearly stated in my post that he gets a tubefeeding at night, so he was not going to go hungry. He gets "fed" all night long. And he knows this, and I told him that was his choice because it was bedtime. Maybe a normal kid, yes, but he was far from going to bed hungry. Does your kid eat while sleeps? Thought not.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:17 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • MIL was wrong..that is underming your authority but thats what grandparents do :( sounds like you need a breather! We all do sometimes, maybe theres someone that can keep an eye on the kiddos so you can get a coffee or nice walk...your boy is 4..yes he needs to listen but he is a kid..talk to him,set limits,take away favorite things for misbehavior, and be persistent!! Breathe..
    socalikim

    Answer by socalikim at 3:33 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I still think you are the issue.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Well good for you. If you're not going to help, go somewhere else.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:11 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Socalikim...there is noone to watch the kids. I do take away things when he doesn't listen. But it doesn't work. He just finds new things to not do. He'll pee on himself and I'll tell him to go the bathroom and take his pants off, and he'll just stand there and shake his no. It's very frustrating. He CAN listen, because there are days where he does, but here lately he's been especially disobedient. His sisters were never this bad(and htey had plenty of moments, believe me!) I try really hard to not resort ot yelling or having to spank, but it doesn't always work out the way. I can ask nicely 50 times and he doesn't do it till I've raised my voice. I shouldn't have ot yell all the time. PLEASE! Just do it when I ask you nicely!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:17 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I'm aware I've got a lot of stress. That's a no brainer. I'm also painfully aware that I need to break...but that's not going to happen anytime soon. So what I need is tips on getting my 4 yr old to listen better. I think hes old enough to know that he needs to listen to me. And nothing is working. Timeouts, taking away computer time, even praise charts don't work. Its unacceptable to just accept that he doesn't listen, blah blah blah. He needs to start listening better and stop fighting on EVERYTHING! Somethings are non-negotiable. You HAVE to get a breathing treatment everyday...so stop melting ot the ground everytime it's time to put your vest on. We HAVE to go bed, so stop holding onto the computer desk and refusing ot cooperate. He gets options, I give him choices, he gets praise for helping and being a big boy.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:33 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I think everyone needs a time out! Kids test you especially when they know your stressed out. My 4 year old tries to test me all the time. Doesnt get him anywhere but in time out! lol
    jmgblair10

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 12:15 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

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