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Losing my best friend. Kinda long.

She's made some kind of nasty remarks to me and about me. Once we were out with another friend. We were talking about college and how one of our classmates was working at hardware store but he was finally going back to school next fall. I said something like, "That's good. It just takes some people longer than others to finish school. Look at me." ('Cause, yeah, I'm going through school slowly.) She says, "Yeah. And look at you now. What a winner." In a super sarcastic tone. (I had just broke up with my DS's dad. So I'm a single mom, working as a cashier full time, and going to school full time.) I was hurt but didn't say anything. I don't stick up for myself very much.

Just a couple of days ago she tells my SIL that I must be loving all the attention my break up with my DS's dad has brought me. That one really ticked me off. If she knew anything about the situation she'd know I don't talk about it with anyone, and that I'm still really hurt and sad about it. This break up has been really hard on me and for one of my "best friends" to be saying stuff like this about me just sucks.

Those are just a couple examples. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't even want to talk to her anymore because of the stuff she's been saying. But how do I just let go of a 20+ year friendship? We've been friends since before we started kindergarten. We used to be there for each other through everything.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 AM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • So, have you seen Beaches? You know in that movie in the middle Bette Middler gets jealous of her friend, and says mean things etc? They go through this period where they're mad at each other, then at the end they get back to good terms, and Bette Middler realizes she's been an idiot trying to get "more attention" than her friend, and now she's about to lose her freind? That's who your friend reminds me of, according to above account. She probably has something else bugging her, and wants her own attention. I'd cool your friendship for a while. Come back to it if she gets out of her poopy funk of being a butt. Meanwhile, get some friends who relate to you and love you as you are right now. You know, make new friends but keep the old...if she's a good friend, eventually she'll realize she's been an idiot.
    ladymomtraveler

    Answer by ladymomtraveler at 7:14 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Sweetie, sometimes we have to redefine "friends". A friend does not hurt intentionally. Just because you've been friends for 20+ years doesn't mean that she has the right to degrade you. If she can't change the way she talks to, and about you, then I'd say "cool it" for awhile w/her. I'd not have anything to do w/her until she knows how to treat a friend. Best wishes!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 8:34 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I would at least talk to her and maybe she didn't mean it that way and try to mend a friendship that has been so long. But if you can't then letting go is hard and best of luck.
    ConnectHearts

    Answer by ConnectHearts at 2:16 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • She sounds like someone you don't need as a friend, I have been there myself, she sounds like she has some jealousy issues and doesn't want you stealing her thunder , I'd tell her how I felt and if she didn't change her actions towards you then I would lose that friendship.
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 8:51 AM on Feb. 10, 2011