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Hear me out ppl adult content

 I have been feeling so Depressed lately. I have 3 kids born 06, 08, 2010. I am a stay at home mom which i am very grateful to be able to do but..... and yes there is a but so here it goes........

I feel like I am doing everything alone I know my husband works but I could use some help to ya know? I want to ask but  idont want to seem selfish.

After 3 kids my body looks like a complete train wreck. When I used to go out with friends I felt great. I fit in perfect. Now Im "the fat chick". The I will say hi to her so she dont feel left out chick. i listen to my 115 pound friend talk about how fat she is. Like talk to me about it and I Think What in the hell do you think of me I mean really I need to loose like 80 pounds Here and your Fat?

It's my hair my body my face my teeth its everything it's me. I want to get out there get my body back I'm a young mom I just turned 23 on the 5th. And i might as well be 80.  I dont feel like I can do anything right. I have one good friend left and shes moving to Hawaii next month :(  I dont feel like i can meet people.

I dont want to tell my hubby how I feel. I am to embarrased. It hurts so bad. I used to be so strong. And now i feel so week.......

I want to feel beautiful again, wanted, worthy. I just want to feel good again.

Sorry for the vent but I dont know nor do i feel comfortable to tell anyone else.......

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Health

Answers (18)
  • You have to at least tell dh about needing some help. If you are unsatisfied with your appearance then change it. The biggest weight loss secret is sheer determination!

    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 2:21 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Hon.. Beauty starts fr within. U need to practice on lifting ur self up fr the inside out. I thnk alot of moms feel or hav felt the same as u at one time or the other.. 1st thing. Stop putting urself dwn.. U must start thnkn positive & sayn positive thngs about urself.. Im sure its smthing ur good at or u enjoy about urself.. So focus on that until u make it a habit of giving urself positive reinforcement. Talk to ur hubby. Tell him how u feel. U never know what positives may com out of it. Make it a mission to dress urself up & look & feel beautiful even if ur jus sitn at home. Look at urself n the mirror & tell urself ur beautiful & mean it!
    tiamesmer

    Answer by tiamesmer at 2:25 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • First of all, you're not alone. When I first became a SAHM, I felt that I was always the one to cook clean and take care of the baby by myself. For the most part I am. I look at it as my profession and the shitty hours are made up for with sloppy, wet kisses and laughter from my baby. Embrace your vocation to be a mom. Secondly, the weight issue. Postpartum weight and physical changes are normal. Just make it a point to exercise with your kids and for yourself. For example, I make sure that I take my daughter out for a walk at least three times a week. Even if we have to walk in the mall because of weather conditions. For myself, I joined a dance troop and I am enjoying shedding those extra pregger pounds. Obviously your husband loves you because you can see it through your beautiful children. Keep up your faith, embrace your life and stay in the present moment all of which there is no problem.
    tdbaas

    Answer by tdbaas at 2:25 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • It's tough I try to think of something That i like about myself and it takes awhile. I'm actually still thinking about it. I feel like I'm so far down I may never get back up again.... I had my son 12-11-10 so my after baby weight is still fresh. But It's not just the weight its me. I have never felt so ashamed of myself. My grandma asked me what I wanted for my birthday and i told her to go to the fat doctor for prescribed weight loss meds, not a movie, not a night out with just my hubby nor an outfit. I sound so selfish and needy I know and i hate that but I am at a loss. My hubby has a big mouth he tells his family everything. I am afraid to tell him and then he tell them and they think less of me. And I dont feel right telling my friend. I talk to my grandma sometimes about it.

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:37 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I have to agree with all the other moms. For a moment there it felt like you were reading my diary. That was me. ALL me. I felt just like you. I HATED going anywhere because I felt the whole worlds eyes on my midsection. If you dislike your apperance as much as it seems, only YOU can do something about it. Just because we're bigger it doesnt mean we don't have the right to look good and feel good. I've seen some bigger girls that put the smaller ones to shame.

    If you ever need to talk let me know!!

    Hang in here. I have 4 kids (8-1) and dh didn't really start helping until last year. Talk to your dh.

    GL
    4xsthetrouble

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 2:41 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Mayb u should try counseling or smthng. U hav to snap out of this state of depression.. Join som type of club or support group.. & surround urself around positive ppl who can b trusted & lift u up not put u dwn. Thnk of ur beautiful kids.. That beauty came fr YOU. I know this sounds silly.. But turn to ur kids for support. Cus guess what? They love mommy regardless & thnk u r the most beautiful & wonderful person ever. U have to start believing in urself & stop putn urself dwn. Even if it starts off as a lie in ur eyes. Still say smthng good about urself until u believe. Get out & enjoy the world. Act silly. Dance around with the kids. It relieves stress & its good excercise too. I hope u can get pass this. I will keep u in my prayers.
    tiamesmer

    Answer by tiamesmer at 2:50 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Ok I think I can do this. If not for myself then for my kids and husband. I can loose the weight with help from the doctor and the gym and no dark pop which is my weakness. I will ask for help I mean at least when he gets off of work he is off. I never get off nor do i get a day off. But I am not sure how I can change my insides.......................
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:52 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I've been exactly where you are. As a matter of fact, I'm still there. What's worse hubby cheats on me and sometimes I want to believe that its because I've gotten so unattractive (he was doing it waaaay before I even had kids.) Plus ,he wont help and even makes things worse by doing inconsiderate stuff like inviting his friends over for breakfast while he just plays his PS allday.

    Right now,I'm making the effort to feel good about myself.You should invest in a jogging stroller because there's nothing that is as healing as just getting outside with the kids for a walk in the open air. I ear ,it's the best first step. Like you, I have no friends.And like you ,I feel like the fat chick and am soo ashamed to be out in public. But I push through the shame and the hurt and take myself out.I go to the movies alone or book a massage. i'm trying to teach myself to love my own company first before seeking out others.

    As fw
    whiskey80

    Answer by whiskey80 at 2:58 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • U can change ur insides.. Its mind over matter hon.. & if I can do it.. I believe u can also. I was depressed. Miserable. No one in my corner.. (Immediate family past away & dead beat hubby) & 4 kids. I suffered anxiety attacks & everything. U name it.. I had it.. & I pulled myself out of that dark hole & started living & enjoying life. My wonderful kids r my strength. Cus if Im not here for them.. No one else will be. U can do it. I believe u can. Smtimes it can get rough.. But III keep pushing harder & u will too.
    tiamesmer

    Answer by tiamesmer at 3:06 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Asfor the weight, take the stroller out as much as you can. I live in a dangerous aea and I'm still trying to work up the courage to go out at 5am for a jog so I have used the stairs instead. Only done itwice so far but I'm determined to build up my fitness level. Also, if you can ,make out the time and money and enroll in a class.Maybe ,spinning or zumba. It's good for your weight but more importantly, you get to meet other people even if it's only for a few secs.

    The truth of it is,you alone are responsible for your happiness.I learnt that the hard way. Take it in baby steps but take the steps. I'm still struggling aand sometimes I slump back into that dark place but I make the effort to give myself that mental shake and drag myself up and out.

    Hang in there,kiddo. Take it one moment at a time.You can talk to me when you see them Demons of Depression lurking.I promise to try and yell them into temporary submission.Lol
    whiskey80

    Answer by whiskey80 at 3:08 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

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