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5 Bumps

He's abusive...

I've been married for six years and in all that time I've had to endure verbal , emotional and physical abuse at his hands. It started when I was 6 month pregnant with my 1st child. Since then , I've lost 2 pregnancies and endured a lot of breaks and bruises. He gets all sorry and attentive for a few weeks after each incident but each consecutive incident is worse than the last.

I tried to leave once but I almost lost custody of my son (Nigeria is Patrilineal ,for the most part) .I thought about relocating to Canada but he's seized my passport and my kids' .I have very little money saved up and cant even afford a lawyer or a house. my job doesn pay that well.

I'm hoping someone here will see this post and may know someone who knows someone who's willing to defend me pro bono.

PS: Dont feel sorry for me. I need solutions not pity.....


Asked by whiskey80 at 2:39 AM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (698 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • My first husband was abusive. I was with him 12 yrs. I ended up having to make an escape plan and involved only two people. No one had any idea I was leaving, not even my best friend in the world. I had to do that because like your ex he would block my way out of the relationship. You should call the domestic violence hotline and talk to them. Many of them can help you make a plan and make sure you have someone to help you to a womans shelter or a relatives house. They also help with restraining orders.

    Answer by gemgem at 5:03 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • I can't defend you or I would but I am glad that you have made the choice to get out I am sure it was a hard choice. Maybe if you can't find help on here a womens shelter will have some advise for you or your local hospital or church. Good luck.

    Answer by sierramagic at 3:08 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • You need to gather a netwok of support. This would include your parents, friends, church groups, work, etc. Get as much people on your side as you can so they will know that you are serious and need assistance. This may take some time, just depending on how many people you know. You don't have to get too detailed, just be honest.

    You must have documentation on the abuse. This will help in filing a protective order, court proceedings, etc. No Judge in their right mind would give custody to someone that would endanger the child. You must have proof, pictures, journal, etc.

    This is going to give you a firm ground to stand on when you have to make the leap and get out. It is the only way, without much money.


    Answer by Dreamlander at 3:56 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I found this website you can get some answers and legal aid for free

    Answer by gou18 at 3:58 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Bump 4u, Gl...

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 4:57 PM on Feb. 11, 2011

  • call the cops, go to a shelter

    Answer by notjstasocermom at 4:58 PM on Feb. 11, 2011