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Love is over rated

LOL I feel very discouraged with love. Or finding love that lasts. Apparently my husband is done with this marriage, I attempted to reconciliate with him, but he has nothing to say. Looking back at past relationships, I just can't seem to get past the 4 years with anyone. Makes me wonder what my problem is, what The problem is. Have i just not found the right person. Or am I destined to be alone? I don't have any friends as unfortunate as me, it kind of just sucks LOL
I am now most likely looking at a divorce and have 2 boys age 1 and 2. And feel like I am damaged goods with baggage, who would sign on for that. And worse yet, when you live in a fairly small area, how do you even "luck" into finding someone. The churches are small, and most people who go to them are families, not single men. I guess it's a waiting game.
Anyone else feel my desperation ever??


Asked by 2BlondeBabies at 7:35 AM on Feb. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,069 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Oh sweetie, you just haven't found "the one" yet. I know people that have found love on and eHarmony - even in really small towns. Give yourself some time to heal, and then look at your options. There is someone out there thinking exactly what you are, and when you find each other it will be incredible!

    Answer by Scuba at 7:39 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • You can't think of yourself as damaged. You just haven't found the right one yet. I am sure he's out there. I had a previous marriage before and it only lasted eight months before I kicked him out. For a time I worried if people would talk about me and say things like you know 'she didn't even try' but my dad told me one day he said ' you won't be the first to get divorced and you won't be the last.' I'm happily married now so don't worry, it will work out, just believe in yourself, stay true to you and your kids and never give up because true love does exist!

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 7:43 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I was married for 13 years, had two children, 3 & 4. I was miserable, and was convinced that all marriages were. I finally got up the nerve to just end it; I figured I was better off alone than with a man I didn't love (and who didn't love or respect me). I was on my first business trip after we filed, and I met my now-DH. We've been married for 6 years, together for 8, and I am amazed everyday that we found the love we did. I never believed in soul mates until I met him. Give yourself time, there is someone out there for everyone. Just be confident in yourself, and your ability to be alone before jumping into the next relationship.

    Answer by Scuba at 8:31 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I was actually married once before when I was right out of college. And it lasted 3 years, he cheated and had a drinking issue. So it ended. Then this time around, things just changed ... I can't even pin point it. I don't want to run right out there and jump into anything, but I do feel discourged. I'll be 33 in a month and I laid in bed last night and thought, I won't ever be like my grandparents and have that 50th anniversary. I know what i am going through is part of the "healing process" but it still sucks either way. I guess it's better than sitting around crying and being angry how it was a month to 2 months ago!

    Comment by 2BlondeBabies (original poster) at 7:49 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • I would suggest not seeking out a relationship. You are a mother of 2 young children and should focus on them. When you are right out of a marriage or commited relationship, you have emotional baggage. Your self-esteem has been damaged from being rejected by someone that should be there for you for a lifetime. Don't let yourself think that, "without a man you're no one"! Find your identity in being you! Best wishes and if God wants you to be with someone, it will eventually happen, but I would be adament on focusing on myself and my children for awhile.

    Answer by etexmom at 8:24 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Oh Ladies, I'm not wanting to jump in any time soon. It's just the thoughts cross my mind that in a couple years when this is all behind me ... well, I will feel like How will I find anyone?? Yes, I know it happens. I have been a single mom for over a year now basically, without him being around. I've been well over that shock for 14 months now. But being alone begins to get lonely.

    Comment by 2BlondeBabies (original poster) at 2:55 PM on Feb. 10, 2011