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my neice is coming over and when she comes over i tend to spoil her and buy her things and sometimes i dont buy things for my daughter while with her they are both 2.5 yea and it makes my daughter jealous but my neice lives in mass. and i live in ga. so i only see her 2-4 times a year so when i do see her i mae it extra special but i dnt wanna leave y daughter out what should i do ?

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mykids44

Asked by mykids44 at 11:05 AM on Feb. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (36 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Do things for them both the same.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:06 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • since theyre young your daughter does not understand you are doing this only because you hardly see your neice. in her eyes it might be a favoritism thing, which of course it is not but she doesnt know the difference. at this age its important to keep things equal and what you do for one you must also do for the other.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:08 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • This is a no brainer. Treat them both the same. U buy something special for your neice,buy something special for your daughter. Let her know she does not get less special just cause her cousin is over.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 11:11 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Include your daughter in the things that you guys do
    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 11:12 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • U need to do this. Down the road,she will grow to hate her cousin if u keep doing things the way u r doing them.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 11:12 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • i agree with dancer in her recent post.

    my MIL favors my neice over all 3 of my daughters. mine are 4, 2 and 1 and neice is 3. recently when niece was down to visit, MIL and everyone else in hubbys side of the family treated niece like gold and my 4 year old picked up on it. she doesnt understand they just gave her extra loving because they dont see her much. i fear if visits like these continue, my 4 year old will eventually grow a jealousy complex about her cousin.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:15 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • When I have my niece, I do the very same things for both her and my son. If I buy her something, he gets something as well. They are too young to understand why your doing for one and not the other.
    jmgblair10

    Answer by jmgblair10 at 11:25 AM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • thnx but the thing is me and my daughter will go to toys r us one day and when my neice comes i will take her my daughter will want something to een though she ust got stuff .
    mykids44

    Comment by mykids44 (original poster) at 12:34 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Yeah, your daughter is too young to think about how she just got stuff, she is thinking about the now, and what she sees now is that her Mommy is buying something for her cousin and not for her. To a 2.5 year old that isn't fair and I have to agree. If you know your niece is coming then don't take your daughter to buy things right before, that way you can all go together. And don't expect this to change as the girls get older so keep with this plan of waiting to do things when they are together. It's great to be excited about your niece coming, just make sure it isn't at your daughter's expense.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:36 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

  • Maybe instead of buying your niece things, you take both girls out on a special outing. A park with a cool jungle gym, a zoo, a children's museum, etc. You could also refrain from buying your daughter things shortly before your niece gets there and then buy them both a toy while she is visiting. Or when you're out with your daughter, pick two of whatever you are buying for your daughter and then have your daughter give her cousin the other toy when she gets there.
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 2:35 PM on Feb. 10, 2011

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